113+ Hilarious Money Puns for a Wealth of Laughs

Money Puns
Written by Hilly Martin

Money is an essential tool for survival and holds great importance in our lives. It makes the world go round, and many people are willing to do whatever it takes to earn some extra cash. With such significance attached to money, it’s no surprise that it has become the subject of many jokes and puns. Money puns create a fun and lighthearted way to approach the topic of finance and personal wealth.

In this article, we will explore money puns, including the best short money puns, oneliner money puns, funny puns for money, money puns for kids, and money puns used in movies.

What are Money Puns?

A pun is a play on words that uses different meanings or variations of a word to create humor. A money pun is a type of pun that uses money-related words or phrases to create a funny or witty statement. Money puns can be as simple as a one-liner or as complex as a whole joke. They are a great way to break the ice, lighten the mood, and add some humor to a serious topic such as personal finance.

Best Short Money Puns

  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  • The bank was crowded, so I decided to take a check in the mail.
  • I can’t decide between a career as a bank robber or a chef, but either way, I’ll be making dough.
  • To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.
  • I have a joke about change, but I’m afraid it won’t make cents.
  • The new dollar coin is so hipster – it’s been around for years, but nobody uses it.
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
  • I joined an online financial forum, but all they talk about is net income.
  • I asked my bank to check my balance, and they told me I was outstanding.
  • My financial advisor told me to diversify my portfolio, so I bought a bunch of different brands of beer.
  • I’m thinking of investing in a new type of password: it’s called “cipher-insurance.”
  • I went to a restaurant where the prices were so high, they had a cover charge just to look at the menu.
  • Being a banker must be tough – so many account-abilities.
  • Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
  • Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
  • I just started a business selling yachts in my free time. It’s my sail-to-job.
  • You know what really bugs me about bank robbery movies? They always focus on the chase, but what about the getaway car? That’s a Ford Escape!
  • I hate it when I get home from work and I find paper clips all over my floor. It’s like my Staples have been robbed.
  • My piggy bank is so full, I can’t even get a hog on the back of it!
  • I went to a bank to deposit a check, and the teller tried to give me directions to the nearest cash machine. I told her I already have plenty of cash machines at home – my kids!
  • A dollar bill may only be worth one dollar, but it always gets a lot of interest.
  • I tried to pay my bills by just folding them up and mailing them, but apparently, they prefer if you use cash or a check.
  • I lost my job at the bank on my first day at work, for no reason whatsoever. A lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Best Short Money Puns

One-liner Money Puns

Funny Puns for Money

  • A steal on a used coffin: never been dead.
  • You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
  • I’m terrible with money. When I get a dollar, I usually spend a hundred cents.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  • Why don’t cows have any money? They keep dairy-ing it here and there.
  • If you marry for money, you’ll earn every penny.
  • I don’t always make bad financial decisions, but when I do, they’re catastrophic.
  • Why did the banker break up with her boyfriend? He was always too cash-strapped.
  • Why did the investment banker break up with his girlfriend? He lost interest.
  • The economy is so bad, the bank robbers are giving loans instead of taking them!
  • Why did the banker fall asleep while counting his money? Because he lost his balance.
  • What is a penny’s favorite game? Heads or tails!
  • I told my financial advisor I wanted to put all my money into wine, and he said, “That’s not a very liquid investment.”
  • Why did the boy eat his money? He wanted rich food.
  • The ATM keeps telling me to use its Spanish option. I’m like, “No, I don’t speak ATM.”
  • Why did the man lose his job at the coin factory? He didn’t make any cents.
  • What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels!
  • Why did the avocado go broke? He had too many guac-ward investments.
  • A bookstore never gets old; it just becomes a novel idea.
  • Why did the banker keep her money in the oven? She wanted hot, hard cash.
  • I tried to pay my taxes with a smile, but they wanted cash.
  • I can hire someone to do anything for me except enjoy life.
  • If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
One-liner Money Puns

Money Puns for Kids

  • What do you call a chicken that can count its eggs? A math-a-lay-egg!
  • Why did the student have a piggy bank in class? He wanted to put his cents in attendance.
  • How do monsters pay their bills? With scream-ony.
  • Why did the cookie go to the bank? To get their dough back.
  • Where do cows keep their money? In a moo-lah box.
  • Why don’t chickens use credit cards? They prefer to lay-a-way.
  • What do you call a rich banana? A million-aire.
  • Why did the ruler go to the bank? To measure his savings.
  • How does a tree get on the internet? It logs on.
  • What do you call a rich snowman? A flurry-naire.
  • What do you call money that grows on trees? Branches.
  • Why did the potato put money in the bank? To make a mash deposit.
  • Why did the monkey like to put his change in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
  • What did one penny say to the other penny? We make cents together.
  • What did the dollar bill say to the quarter? You look like you could use some change.
  • What do you call a rich dog? A bark-illionaire.
  • What do you call an elephant who’s good with money? A penny-wise.
  • Why did the jelly bean go to the bank? To watch its dough grow.
  • How do you count your money in Hawaii? With a ukulele.
  • What is a pirate’s favorite kind of money? Pieces of eight.
  • What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.
  • Why did the robot go broke? His circuits were overdrawn.
  • What do you call a group of money-crazed cows? A cash herd.
  • What do you call a snake who works for the government? I.R. Ssssss.
  • Why did the sheep go to the bank? To get a ewe-nique investment opportunity.

Creative money puns used in movie

  • “Show me the money!” – Jerry Maguire (1996)
  • “You’re sitting on a goldmine, Trebek!” – Austin Powers: Goldmember (2002)
  • “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” – Wall Street (1987)
  • “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” – The Godfather (1972)
  • “Yesterday we were an oil company. Today, we’re a hedge fund.” – Syriana (2005)
  • “I don’t think I need to tell you what’s at stake here, gentlemen. Everybody’s got their own American dream.” – The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
  • “Follow the money.” – All the President’s Men (1976)
  • “It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message.” – The Dark Knight (2008)
  • “A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” – Trading Places (1983)
  • “Money can’t buy happiness, but it’s a lot more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.” – The Girl Next Door (2004)


Puns have been used for centuries to add humor and a light-hearted touch to situations and discussions. Money puns are no exception; they have been widely used in movies, books, and even casual daily conversations. Money puns can shed some light on the seriousness of money matters, and they can also be a source of creative fun in our daily interactions. Next time you’re talking about money, consider bringing out some of these puns to lighten up the mood and add a touch of humor to the conversation.

About the author

Hilly Martin