105+ Funny Puns That Will Leave You In Stitches

Best funny puns to enjoy
Written by Hilly Martin

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our latest book of funny puns! We know that you’re always looking for new content to post on social media, and what could be better than 105 funny puns that will get your friends and followers laughing? Not only are the puns hilarious, but they’re also great for captioning photos. You can use them to make your friends laugh, or simply to show off your clever wit. And with our easy-to-use format, you can find the perfect pun for any occasion in seconds.

Funny Puns and wordplay make people laugh, even if they aren’t very good. Here are some puns to get you started! They’re perfect for any occasion, and you can use them as captions or status updates. With our easy-to-use app, you can quickly find the perfect Funny Puns for any situation. Just enter a keyword or phrase, and we’ll give you a list of hilarious Funny Puns options. And if you need help picking the right one, just let us know! We’re always here to help make your posts more entertaining.

For More: 5 Example of Puns with Examples [Guide]

funniest puns ideas

Funny Puns Captions

  • Snowmen like summer vacation too because it’s hot as h*ll.
  • To avoid those pesky mosquitoes at your picnic, try playing dead or wearing deet .
  • You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t take him out of his natural habitat.
  • Let’s go for a quick swim in the sea and afterwards we’ll relax on the beach .
  • I like my women like I like my coffee: rich and hot .
  • She fell asleep reading a book so she’s still in the prologue.
  • Halloween is coming up! Dress up as someone scary but don’t be too ferocious .
  • My girlfriend got so sunburned at the beach that she looked like a lobster when we get home.
  • I was thinking about running away from home, what should I do?
  • It doesn’t matter how much you try to cheer up a sad clown. He’s still going to be a downer.
  • Shepherd’s pie is made with lamb, not shepherds .
  • The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  • You’re not dumb, you just have a low IQ .
  • How do you get down off an elephant? You don’t! You get down off a duck.
  • A friend of mine went on a cruise for her honeymoon. It was smooth sailing ,
  • The more you stir, the harder it is to cool off soup .
  • Two silk worms had a race – they ended up in a tie .
  • I wish I could be a good example to my children but I

Short Funny Puns

  • I’m very fond of Chinese food. I could eat it every day!
  • I only need one candle to light up my room because the sun is always shining .
  • The best way for a panda to relax is to take a bamboo-scented bubble bath.
  • I’m not very good at crosswords, but I definitely beat the band .
  • For your next camping trip, make sure you pack some snacks because you’ll be doing a lot of *hiking.
  • The best way to solve hunger is by eating a sandwich .
  • Customer: Waiter, my soup tastes funny .
  • Waiter: I’m sorry sir but the chef has been drinking all day and he stumbled over the carrots .
  • Pizza is just like communism – it’s only good if you’re really bad at making decisions.
  • My friend has a real sweet tooth, he eats sugar all day until his teeth turn yellow and fall out.
  • The stapler was shot by the police because it committed *assault.
  • I usually hate mayonnaise but I put it on my fries anyway .
  • A horse walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer and a mop .”
  • Coworker: The honeymoon is over already? How fast did you two hit the sheets?
  • Husband: Slow but steady .
  • No matter how hard I try to eat healthy , I always end up with a bag of chips.
  • Customer: I think your prices are way too high .
  • Store owner: Well, have you seen the price of meat nowadays ?

Funny Puns One liners

  • Today, you need more than just a strong handshake to get hired – employers are looking for people with great hand-baggage .
  • I have plenty of puns about science so if it’s lab coats you want bring your own.
  • Today is International Talk like a Pirate Day so let’s all try and give parroting a go.
  • A group of babies want to start their own rap group, but they don’t have any instruments so they’ll need to find some baby bongos .
  • I’m no expert in football, but if you’re having trouble scoring from a penalty try the new tactic of ‘kicking from hand to hand’.
  • There’s a new way to take baths which is apparently totally relaxing – you just soak in the dirt .
  • I heard a funny joke about a snail in the forest who was fast as hell.
  • A friend of mine in Australia sent me this (insert picture and caption here).
  • I’ve got a friend who’s addicted to work. He is turn and full of go .
  • My neighbor was so loud last night I could barely hear myself think .
  • There is nothing more dangerous than a bored pregnant woman, she will eat anything within reach .
  • He had such a vague expression on his face he looked like one of those vague figures in a game of Where’s Waldo ?
  • I was proud when my son finally learned to use the potty . It was quite an occasion.
  • My friend told me he found himself cured of cancer, but I think it’s just wishful thinking .

Funny Puns Captions

  • I often go to bed after staying up all night, my motivation is knackered .
  • My wife is always telling me that I’ve got a one-track mind. It’ll be track and field if she keeps it up .
  • I think the past always comes back to haunt you in some strange way, like that one time when I forgot my wallet at home.
  • If you are ever stuck with no hope of rescue, then your only option is to signal SOS with a barf bag .
  • I’m really having trouble getting rid of my ex. I’ve tried everything from stalking to bribery but nothing seems to work .
  • I almost got into a fight with a very large man, but he backed down after I poked him in the chest.
  • I was just in a horrible car accident where i had my face reconstructed with blood and scotch-tape. I’d really like to thank everyone who wished me well.
  • The guy in front of me at Starbucks really annoyed me. He had a really bad case of foot-in-mouth disease, but thankfully he had no cure.
  • Why do people write so many books about Moby Dick? It’s just one whale.
  • I’m really not that into math, but I can feel it all around me.
  • I think I’m allergic to feelings.
  • Ok so anybody wanna play some ball?…Yea i thought so…im by myself again :/
  • Yesterday I saw a dog wearing sunglasses. It was dog-terrific.
  • The worst thing about two black guys getting hit by lightning is one of them would have to die twice.
  • Think about it: the older you get, the newer everything is.

Best Funny Puns

  • Why do people always say “you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone”?
  • It’s because they don’t know what they’ve had until it was gone.
  • My worst nightmare is that I’ll be rich and famous in a coma.
  • I’m really good at washing up; I can make a plate look like it’s never been touched.
  • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
  • From now on, I’m going to treat every day like it’s my birthday.
  • What do we want? Birthday! When do we want it? Today!
  • I’ve been sober for six months today. *kicks a wall*
  • My first acting role was as “The Person Who Gives The Damn Toast!”
  • I’m sick and tired of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.
  • If I was getting divorced, I wouldn’t be able to get a lawyer. I’m not married yet.
  • I don’t know what’s better: waking up early or sleeping in?
  • Sleeping in is good because you wake up rested but it’s bad because you wake up late. Waking up early is good because it’s on your terms but it’s bad because you’re tired all day.
  • Is anyone here actually a reptilian alien pretending to be human?
  • I’ve been reading this book about anti gravity yesterday. I couldn’t put it down!
  • Comedy is a funny way of being serious.
  • Fatherhood is pretending the present you’re unwrapping is a dream come true, but knowing it’s a nightmare.
  • I refuse to grow up – I’m going to stay as an immature adult.

Funny Puns & Jokes Cringe

  • There are things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s Mastercard.
  • I wish people would stop stereotyping me because of my political views so I can go back to not caring.
  • Why does everyone keep saying cheese is cool? Cheese is soft, yellow and stinks! It’s more like sick than cool.
  • I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.
  • Why do people keep telling me to lighten up? Some of us need to take things seriously!
  • I have an obsession with being naked. It’s like the only time I’m comfortable.
  • My house, my rules is the battle cry for fascists everywhere.
  • If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re probably part of the precipitate.
  • Everything is OK in moderation… moderation being a concept which does not exist.
  • We all have our own problems, but we also have enough money to buy things that don’t help us solve them.
  • I’m extremely proud of myself for having finished this article on time while drunk.
  • I’m going to use all this free time before I get a job to update my resume and delete all of my social media.
  • I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs.
  • Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among stars.
  • It’s not hard being a millionaire – it just takes money to start with.
  • I’m not a psychotic schizophrenic, I’m just a regular schizo.
  • People think it’s hard to be smart but it’s actually very easy; you just say what you think and don’t care about anything else.

For More information: 101 Funny Summer Puns to enjoy your summer time


In conclusion, we hope that this collection of funny puns has left you with a smile on your face and a chuckle in your heart. Puns are a playful and witty way to add some humor to our everyday conversations and interactions. We are grateful to our readers for taking the time to read this post and share in our love of puns.

We also want to express our thanks to those who have shared their favorite puns with us, helping to make this post even more entertaining. Your contributions are greatly appreciated and we hope to continue to hear from you in the future.

Lastly, we would like to invite our readers to leave their feedback on this blog post and to visit our website for more job description ideas. We are always looking for ways to improve and provide our readers with valuable content, and your input is essential to our growth and success. Thank you again for your support and we look forward to hearing from you soon!

Funny puns & Jokes

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Hilly Martin


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