If you’re a lover of all things, especially when it comes to food humor, then you’re in luck because this article is all about bagel puns! Whether you prefer your bagels with cream cheese, smoked salmon, or just plain, there’s a pun for every taste. From short one-liners to longer, more involved jokes, we’ve got you covered with over 100 pun-tastic bagel jokes. So grab your favorite breakfast pastry and get ready for a hole lot of fun!
What Are Bagel Puns?
Before we dive into some of the best bagel puns out there, let’s first discuss what exactly constitutes a bagel pun. Simply put, a bagel pun is a play on words that incorporates the word “bagel” in some way. This can be achieved through wordplay, puns, or even visual humor.
Best Short-Bagel Puns
Let’s start with some short, sweet, and to-the-point puns that’ll have you laughing in no time:
- I donut know what I’d do without bagels.
- You’re the cream cheese to my bagel.
- I knead you to know that I love you.
- I’ve never met a bagel I didn’t like.
- You’re the sesame to my bagel.
- Bagels are the spice of life.
- Have a bagel-icious day!
- Life is uncertain, but bagels are a sure thing.
- Don’t get in a loaf over bagel puns.
- My love for you is like a toasted bagel – it only gets hotter.
- Bagels are always a good idea.
- Mornings are better with bagels.
- I’m not lion – I love bagels.
- Bagels and lox are a match made in heaven.
- You can’t be sad when you’re eating a bagel.
- I’m never bagel-ious when I’m around you.
- I’m a bagel believer!
- I don’t always eat bagels, but when I do, I prefer everything.
- Bagels are the ultimate comfort food.
- Carb loading? More like bagel loading!
- I’m just a bagel girl in a bagel world.
- A day without bagels is like a day without sunshine.
- I’m so dough-ranged without my bagel fix.
- No matter how you slice it, I’m crazy about bagels.
- Bagels – because sometimes toast just won’t cut it.
One-Liner Bagel Puns
If you’re looking for something quick and snappy, these one-liner bagel puns are perfect:
- Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was feeling a little lox-t.
- How does a baker greet people? Gluten tag!
- What do you get when you cross a bagel and a pizza? A bagel bite!
- Why do bagels make great comedians? They have a lot of dough!
- What does a bagel say when it’s surprised? Holy schmear!
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his bagel? He ate it before it was cool.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
- How do you make a bagel laugh? You give it a tickle of cream cheese.
- What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
- Why do bagels make bad astronauts? They’re always coming back down to earth.
- How do you know if a bagel is dyslexic? It comes out “galeb.”
- Why did the bagel break up with the donut? It was just too cruller for him.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite game show? WHEEL. OF. LOX.
- Where do bagels go to learn? Flour school.
- How do you turn a bagel into a coin? You lox it up in a dough-jar.
- What do you say to a bagel who’s having a rough day? Everything’s going to be all-white.
- Why did the bagel start a band? Because it wanted to be a bread winner.
- How do you make a bagel sad? You onion its feelings.
- What did the bagel say to the toaster? You complete me.
- How do you woo a bagel? You tell her she has lox appeal.
- Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the other slice.
- Why didn’t the bagel want to go to the gym? Because it didn’t want to get toasted.
- Why are bagels terrible singers? They have too many flours.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite type of workout? Dough-nuts and dead-lifts.
- How do you know if a bagel is feeling down? It gets a little floury-eyed.
- Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little bit smarter.
- How does a bagel stay in shape? By rolling with the dough.
- What was the bagel’s favorite type of movie? Love, Actually.
- Where do bagels go to catch a cab? The gluten-free taxi stand.
- What do you call a bagel that’s been sliced already? A bagel with benefits.
- Why couldn’t the bagel go to sleep? It was too wired.
- How do you make a bagel happy? By giving it a shmear of love.
- Why did the plate break up with the bagel? Because it felt a little saucy.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite type of vacation? A cru-escent.
- How does a bagel sign a letter? Best, lox and sesame.
Funny Puns for Bagel
Want some puns that’ll have you chuckling out loud? Check out these 35 funny bagel puns:
- Why did the bagel have to go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling well-dough.
- Why did the bagel start smoking? It was toasted.
- How do you make a bagel dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- What do you call a bagel that can swim? A lox-noodler.
- How do you make a bagel feel better? You give it a dough hug.
- What do you call a bagel that’s cut in half? A bagel bite.
- Why are bagels the best at sports? Because they always have the upper-crumb.
- What did the everything bagel say to the plain bagel? You’re looking a little crusty today.
- What do you say to a bagel who’s feeling down? Everything’s going to be all-rye.
- Why did the bagel switch to a low-carb diet? It wanted a little bit of a challah-nge.
- Why did the bagel go to the carnival? It wanted to have a little bit of fun-gluten.
- What do you call a bagel that’s all dressed up? A gluten-free-to-be.
- Why did the bagel go to the dentist? It broke a tooth-bread.
- How can you tell if a bagel’s successful? If it’s got a lot of dough!
- Why did the bagel join a band? So it could be a bread-winner.
- What does a bagel say when it goes through a metal detector? “I’ve got nothing to wheat.”
- Why did the bagel visit space? It wanted to explore new flavors.
- How do you catch a runaway bagel? With a cream cheese trap.
- Why did the bagel break up with the muffin? It didn’t want to be in a crumbly relationship.
- What kind of bagel can’t fly? A plain bagel.
- Why was the bagel feeling a little on edge? It was feeling a little toasted.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite kind of music? Poppy seed.
- Why did the bagel go on a diet? It was starting to feel a little crusty.
- What did the bagel say to the knife? You’re the best thing since sliced bread.
- Why did the bagel go to the gym? To get a little bit of a gluten-free workout.
- How do you make a bagel go faster? Put a little bit of sesame seed fuel in the tank.
- Why do bagels like to travel? So they can take lox of pictures.
- How can you tell if a bagel is in prison? By its jail-house lox.
- Why did the bagel go to Hollywood? It wanted to be a little bit of a bagelebrity.
- What do you call a bagel that’s been bitten? A bagel-and-run.
- Why were the bagels feeling a little bit insecure? They felt they were a little bit under-loxed.
- What does a vegan bagel say? “I don’t need no stinkin’ lox!”
- How can you tell if a bagel’s rich? If it’s got a lot of bread.
- What do you call a bagel that’s been sneezed on? A bless you bagel.
- Why did the bagel go on a date with the croissant? Because it wanted a little bit of French toast.
Bagel Puns for Kids
Kids love being silly, and these bagel puns are perfect for making them laugh:
- What do you call a baby bagel? A dough-ling.
- Why did the bagel go to the beach? To get a little bit of sand-wich.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite type of movie? A rom-com bread-y.
- What do you say to a bagel that’s feeling down? Everything’s butter with you around.
- What do you call a bagel that’s been left in the sun too long? A toasted bagel.
- What do you say when a bagel sneezes? Bagel-tissue!
- How do you make a bagel smile? You give it a dough hug.
- Why did the bagel break up with the bread? It just wasn’t a good match.
- What did the bagel say when it won the lottery? I’m on a roll!
- Why did the bagel go to school? To get a little bit smart-dough.
- What do you say when you see a bagel doing yoga? Bagel-ati!
- How do you make a bagel feel special? You give it a little bit of lox and attention.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Roll and roll.
- Why did the bagel go on a date with cream cheese? Because they were a match made in heaven!
- What do you call a bagel with a sassy attitude? A dough-vah.
- Why did the bagel go to the farmer’s market? To get a little bit of a raisin.
- What do you say when a bagel’s feeling a little bit stale? You’re still a cutie-pie.
- How can you tell if a bagel’s been swimming in the ocean? It’s a little bit salty.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite holiday? Thanks-giving.
- Why did the bagel go to the library? To get a little bit of page-flour.
- What do you call a bagel that’s gone bad? A moldy bagel.
- How do you make a bagel laugh? You tell it a pun-chline.
- Why did the bagel cross the playground? To get to the sandbox.
- What’s a bagel’s favorite game? Dough-ball.
- How do you make a bagel go faster? You put a little bit of cream cheese on it.
Bagel Puns Use in Movies
Believe it or not, bagel puns have even made their way into popular movies and TV shows. Here are a few of our favorite bagel moments on the big and small screen:
- “I dare you to find a better bagel than this.” – Harry Burns in “When Harry Met Sally.”
- “You don’t even really need a recipe. We’re talking about flour, water, sugar, salt, and yeast, and maybe some cinnamon if you’re feeling saucy.” – Lorelai Gilmore in “Gilmore Girls.”
- “These are salted bagels, stuffed with lox cream cheese, capers, sundried tomato, and we call them ‘nuclear bagels’.” – Harry Hart in “Kingsman: The Secret Service.”
- “He was the bagel guy. Every morning he shows up with a box of fresh bagels and cream cheese. He wasn’t my type, but he was good with his hands.” – Stephanie Plum in “One for the Money.”
- “You’re a bagel short of a baker’s dozen.” – Gracie Hart in “Miss Congeniality.”
Key Takeaways
Bagel puns are a great way to lighten the mood and make people laugh. They’re perfect for any occasion, from breakfast with friends to a morning team meeting at work. You can use them as a conversation starter or just to put a smile on someone’s face. With over 121 bagel puns to choose from, you’re sure to find one that suits your sense of humor. So go ahead, have a little fun with your food, and enjoy a hole lot of laughs!
