111+ Hilarious Massage Puns to Tickle Your Funny Bone

Massage Puns
Written by Hilly Martin

Have you ever heard the saying “laughter is the best medicine”? Well, when combined with a great massage, it can be an unbeatable team for relaxation and relief. That’s why we have compiled a list of massage puns that are guaranteed to make you and your clients laugh out loud during or after a session. Whether you’re a massage therapist, spa owner, or just love a good pun, this article is sure to tickle your funny bone.

What is Massage Puns?

Puns are a form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings of a term or the similarity of sound between words. Massage puns are simply puns that have massage in them or refer to massage therapies. They are often used as a way to lighten the mood during a massage session or to make a client feel more comfortable. Plus, who doesn’t love a good pun?

Best Short Massage Puns

  • A massage is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.
  • Massage therapists really knead their work.
  • Rubbing people the right way since forever.
  • Massage is a touchy-feely business.
  • We don’t get tired, we get hand cramps.
  • Relaxation is only one touch away.
  • Massage: for when your body feels like a pretzel.
  • The ultimate stress ball.
  • Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
  • Relax your mind, rejuvenate your body.
  • De-stress the pest.
  • Calm down and carry on.
  • Knead to relieve.
  • No rub, no fun.
  • When in doubt, massage it out.
  • We knead you.
  • Under pressure? Decompress with a massage.
  • Take it from me, massage is a must!
  • Don’t forget to breathe during your massage.
  • Unwind and leave the world behind!
  • No worries, let us rub them away.
  • A massage is just like eating a slice of heaven.
  • Rest and bliss awaits.
  • Pressure never felt so good!
  • I’m not a masseuse, I’m a muscle whisperer.
Best Short Massage Puns

One-liner Massage Pun

  • If you’re stressed, you knead massage.
  • A good massage is knot easy to come by.
  • The thing about a massage is you’re always kneading more.
  • Scalp massage: a head of the game relaxation.
  • Need to de-stress? Just put it in rub-down gear.
  • A good massage is like a warm hug from the inside out.
  • Massage therapists really have all the right hands.
  • A massage is like a reset button for your body.
  • The perfect ending to any massage is a rub hug and kiss.
  • A massage right now would be just the rub you need.
  • You never know where you’ll rub shoulders with a great massage therapist.
  • A massage is not a luxury. It’s a mind and body necessity.
  • I don’t always get massages, but when I do, I prefer the kneading variety.
  • I tried a massage, but they weren’t my type. They were too touchy-feely.
  • When you’re in dire knead, a massage can work wonders.
  • There’s no knot a good massage can’t unwind.
  • Massages: where relaxation and therapy meet.
  • Don’t be a rub out, get a massage.
  • A good massage is the ultimate stress buster.
  • Massages are the rub to your muscles’ troubles.
  • A calm mind and a relaxed body are just a massage away.
  • A massage is simply de-stress-tick.
  • Everyone needs a good rub once in a while.
  • Massages are the unwinding to your everyday grind.
  • Let every touch show that you knead a massage.

Funny Massage Pun

Massage Pun for Kids

  • A massage is like a hug for your muscles.
  • Massages are the secret weapon against grumpy moods.
  • If your muscles could talk, they would say “thank you” after a massage.
  • Plush toys need massages too. They get a tummy rub and a neck knead.
  • Massages are super stretchy time that feels amazing!
  • A massage is not scary, it’s just like playing with dough.
  • Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and feel the magic of the massage.
  • After a massage, feel like a superhero who can conquer anything!
  • Massages are magical tools that help you relax and feel cozy.
  • Massages are great when you just need a little me-time.
  • When you’re feeling cranky, a massage will fix that hanky-panky.
  • A massage can help you forget about your worries and feel at ease.
  • Massages are like taking a nap without falling asleep.
  • Touch and feel the good energy flowing through your muscles during a massage!
  • Massages are like a calming breeze that helps you cool down after a hot day.
  • A massage is like a gift from your body to your mind.
  • When your muscles feel tired, a massage can make them feel refreshed and happy again.
  • Massages are like a best friend that is always there to make you feel amazing.
  • Massages are the ticklish feeling you get when you dance in the shower.
  • A massage is a time for relaxation and letting go of all the stress.
  • Massages are like a happy dance for your body.
  • Close your eyes, imagine you’re at the beach, and let the massage take you there.
  • A good massage can make everything else feel brighter and happier.
  • A massage is like a warm hug from someone you love.
  • A massage is the ultimate way to treat yourself, and everybody deserves it!
One-liner Massage Pun

Catchy Massage Pun use in Movies

  • “Happy Gilmore” (1996) – In this golf-themed comedy, Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler) visits a chiropractor named Dr. Larson who uses some unorthodox (and painful) massage techniques to help with Happy’s golf swing.
  • “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” (2005) – One of the most memorable scenes from this comedy is when Andy (Steve Carrell) visits a spa and gets a painful wax,
  • followed by a soothing massage. During the massage, he makes a few massage puns, including “This is like Swedish meatballs all over my back” and “It feels like a weird uncle is touching me”.
  • “Napoleon Dynamite” (2004) – In this cult classic, Napoleon’s friend Kip becomes a martial arts expert and opens a dojo in his living room. One of his business propositions is to offer free massages to attract more clients.

Key Takeaway


Massage puns are a fun and lighthearted way to incorporate humor into your massage practice or just to make someone’s day a little brighter. From one-liners to funny jokes for kids, there is sure to be a pun that resonates with everyone. So go ahead and add some pun-tastic humor to your next massage session!

About the author

Hilly Martin