If you’re someone who enjoys groaning at painfully cheesy jokes and puns, then you’re in for a treat. Lame puns are a form of wordplay that often use words with multiple meanings or sound-alike words to create humor. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but for those who appreciate them, they can be a great source of laughter.
In this article, we’ll explore of the cheesiest and lamest puns out there. From silly one-liners to jokes for kids and puns used in movies, we’ve got it all covered. So, get ready to roll your eyes and maybe even chuckle a little.
What Are Lame Puns?
Lame puns are jokes that rely on wordplay for their humor. They typically use words with multiple meanings, homophones or homonyms (words that sound the same but are spelled differently) to create a pun. Lame puns are often considered cheesy because they are so obvious and predictable. However, this is also what makes them so funny to some people.
Best Short Lame Puns
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Why don’t oysters give to charity? They’re shellfish.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest playing a guitar? A croc and roll band.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
- I’m really good at sleeping. It’s my dream job.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I started a new business selling yachts in my attic. Sails are through the roof.
- Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steaks.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- I’ve been reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
- The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to get me somewhere.
- What do you call a can that doesn’t contain anything? A can-tainer.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s scared of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Some relationships just don’t work out.
One-Liner Lame Puns
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrow too high. She looked surprised.
- I told my wife she was speaking in a low voice. She said, “I’m asleep.”
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.
- I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
- I don’t trust the stairs. They’re always up to something.
- A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play that game.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
- I was going to make a belt out of watches, but then I realized it was just a waist of time.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.
- What do you call an exploding monkey? A ba-boom.
- I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
- Have you ever played “Jump Rope For Heart”? It’s skipping a beat.
- I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
- Why don’t bicycles ever stand up by themselves? They’re two-tired.
- I saw a beaver movie last night … it was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- Are you a fan of electrons? Me, too; I’m Attracted to them.
- I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not a morning person.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
- I wanted to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
- What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Funny Puns for Lame
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrow too high. She looked surprised.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
- I’m really good at sleeping. It’s my dream job.
- I don’t trust the stairs. They’re always up to something.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
- What do you call a bird at a party? A party fowl.
- A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
- I was going to make a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it was just a waste of time.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.
- I told my wife she was speaking in a low voice. She said, “I’m asleep.”
- I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not a morning person.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s scared of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- I saw a beaver movie last night … it was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.
- What’s the most unrealistic part of Lord of the Rings? The hobbits have a stable economy.
- I just started a business selling yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof!
- You know, they say that laughter is the best medicine. I guess that makes me a pharmacist.
- I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
Lame Puns for Kids
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry; it’s just a joke.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
- Why don’t spiders go to school? They already know how to spin.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the elephant go to the doctor? Because he was trunk.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels.
- Why did the crayon quit its job? Because it was fed up with all the coloring.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Some relationships just don’t work out.
- Why did the baby cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why don’t bicycles ever stand up by themselves? They’re two-tired.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome.
- What is a snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-tory.
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
- Why did the frog call his insurance company? His car got toad.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt.”
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
Catchy lame puns used in movie
Sure, below are some examples of lame puns used in movies:
- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery – “Allow myself to introduce… myself.”
- Wayne’s World – “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!”
- Airplane! – “I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.”
- Ghostbusters – “He slimed me.”
- The Naked Gun – “It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it’ll kill you, but it’ll clean you out, too.”
- Dumb and Dumber – “We landed on the moon!”
- The Princess Bride – “Inconceivable!”
- Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy – “I love lamp.”
- Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
- The Blues Brothers – “We’re on a mission from God.”
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail – “What is your favorite color?”
- Men in Black – “You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good.”
- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective – “All righty then.”
- Legally Blonde – “What, like it’s hard?”
- Zoolander – “I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.”
Conclusion
Puns have the ability to make people laugh, cringe, or groan in annoyance, depending on the type of pun and the individual’s sense of humor. They have been used in various forms of media, including movies, as a way to add humor or a sense of lightheartedness to a scene. Whether you prefer clever puns, lame puns, or even puns made specifically for kids, there’s a pun out there for everyone to enjoy (or cringe at). So, don’t be afraid to embrace the power of puns and share a laugh with those around you!
