Politics can be a serious and often contentious topic, but sometimes a good laugh can help us see the lighter side of things. Political puns are a great way to bring some humor into the conversation and add a touch of levity to even the most tense situations. Whether you’re a political junkie or just looking for a chuckle, this article will provide you with of the best political puns out there.
From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, this article has it all. We’ll cover everything from classic political jokes to more modern takes on the genre. So buckle up and get ready for a tour through the funniest side of politics!
What Are Political Puns?
Political puns are jokes that use wordplay or other humorous techniques to comment on politics or politicians. They can be used to poke fun at politicians, political parties, or issues related to politics. They can also be used to lighten the mood in tense political situations or to provide some comic relief in the midst of a political debate.
Political puns are often used in speeches, debates, and other political events. They can also be found in political cartoons, satire, and comedy shows. They are a great way to engage with politics in a lighthearted and humorous way.
Best Short Political Puns
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired (too tired)! – Joe Biden
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. – Rep. Eric Samwell
- I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member. – Groucho Marx
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
- I’m in favor of the Oxford comma. – Barack Obama
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it! – Hillary Clinton
- A good pun is its own reword. – George Carlin
- You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think. – Milton Berle
- I’m not a politician. I’m a magician. I turn red tape into red carpet. – Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. – Bill Clinton
- The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes. – Agatha Christie
- I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? – Chandler Bing (Friends)
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool. – Bernie Sanders
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They’re too busy screwing the taxpayers. – Jay Leno
- Have you heard about that new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu. You get what you deserve. – Joe Biden
- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde
- You know you’re a bad driver when Siri says “in 400 feet, stop and let me out.” – Newt Gingrich
- We have plenty of youth, how about a fountain of smart? – Thomas Edison
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up! – Elizabeth Warren
- If at first, you don’t succeed, redefine success. – Bill Clinton
- I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that. – Groucho Marx
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. – Al Gore
Best Oneliner Political Puns
- I told a joke about a cliff to Congress, but they just pushed it aside.
- You can’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
- A Freudian slip is saying one thing and meaning your mother.
- The difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
- Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
- The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. – Oscar Wilde
- I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs. – Samuel Goldwyn
- The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault. – Henry Kissinger
- Why do government buildings have such narrow corridors? So politicians can’t get too far from their baggage. – Bob Hope
- I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me. – Noel Coward
- In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. – Margaret Thatcher
- The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would “hate” to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed. – Will Rogers
- We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us. – Winston Churchill
- My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too. – Rodney Dangerfield
- In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way. – Franklin D. Roosevelt
- You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do. – Henry Ford
- Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. – Franklin P. Jones
- Why do people say “the sky’s the limit” when there are footprints on the moon? – Paul Brandt
- A politician is someone who will double cross that bridge when they come to it. – Oscar Levant
- Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be vice president. – Johnny Carson
- The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. – Ronald Reagan
- The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made. – Jean Giraudoux
- In politics, it’s not what you know that counts, it’s what people think you know.
Funny Puns for Political Junkies
- Democracy is being able to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
- I tried to organize a professional hide and seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
- I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
- We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
- I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.
- If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
- I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie” until you can find a rock.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- I could tell you a shark joke, but it would be out of fin-s.
- If at first, you don’t succeed, redefine success.
- I’m not procrastinating, I’m just prioritizing in reverse.
- Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
- I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m correct.
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
- Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
Political Puns for Kids
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems (politics).
- Why don’t politicians tell jokes? Because they are afraid that they might get elected!
- What do you call a frozen politician? A filibuster-sicle!
- What do you call a politician who can’t tie his shoes? A Cabinet member!
- Why did the politician go to a psychic? To know his polls before they are conducted!
- What do you call a politician dancing in a suit? Polka-dots!
- What do you call a politician’s dog? A campaign paw-gn
- Why did the chicken vote for the politician? Because he promised to cross the road!
- How do politicians clean their glasses? They use poliSH!
- Why did the politician refuse to watch the soccer match? He said it was too politically charged!
- What is a politician’s favorite part of a sentence? The period, where they get to stop talking.
- What do you call a politician who is also a magician? A wand-idate!
- Why did the politician give a speech on a baseball field? He wanted to get grand-slam applause!
- Why was the politician always calm and composed? He had a well-balanced platform!
- Why does the politician hate ghosts? Because they make promises they can’t keep!
- Why did the chicken oppose the politician? He said his policies were too peck-uliar!
- Why did the politician need a ladder? To reach the high polls!
- Why did the politician wear sunglasses? To protect against poll glare!
- What do you call a politician who is also a musician? A rap-candidate!
- Why did the politician join Twitter? He wanted to tweet the people!
- What did the caterpillar say to the politician? You’ve been in the cocoon (congress) too long!
- Why did the politician put on a new hat? He said it was time for a change!
- What would you get if you crossed a politician and a snake? Just the politician!
- Why did the politician refuse to wear a suit? He said it was too polarizing!
- Why did the politician always carry a pencil? So he could re-write history!
Catchy Political Puns in Movies
Political puns are not only limited to real-life situations but are also included in many movies. Here are some of the popular movies with political puns:
- “Airplane!” – “Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” says Captain Oveur to Joey after questioning him about his experience flying a plane.
- “The Princess Bride” – “Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I will most likely kill you in the morning”, says Vizzini.
- “The Naked Gun” – “It’s true what they say, cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside,” says Nordberg.
- “A Few Good Men” – “You can’t handle the truth!”, exclaims Colonel Nathan R. Jessup when he realizes that the lawyer was beating him at his own game.
- “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” – “Allow myself to introduce…myself”, says Austin Powers when he first meets Vanessa Kensington.
- “Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb” – “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room,” says President Merkin Muffley.
- “The Great Dictator” – “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business,” says the Jewish barber.
- “Wag the Dog” – “This is nothing. You should have seen it when they did the Bay of Pigs”, says Conrad Brean when he hears about a problem with a fake war.
- “The Campaign” – “When Cam Brady punches you, he does it in slow motion. You see his hand coming, and you can’t get out of the way”, says Marty Huggins.
- “My Fellow Americans” – “I’ll tell you what I do know; every time we get a portrait of a president on a coin, that president ends up dead”, says Matt Douglas.
Political puns are a great way to bring some humor into the conversation and add a touch of levity to even the most tense situations. From classic jokes to modern takes on wordplay, there is something for everyone in the world of political puns. Whether you’re a political junkie or just looking to have a laugh, these humorous puns can lighten the mood in discussions of politics. So next time you’re engaged in a political debate or conversation, remember to add.