What do you get when you cross a farmer with a comedian? A hilarious collection of Amish puns! These wordplays have been making people chuckle for generations, especially in the United States, where the Amish community has a strong presence.
Whether you’re a fan of clean humor or just appreciate a good joke, this article is for you. We’ve compiled 111+ of the best Amish puns around, organized into different categories so you can easily find your favorites. So sit back, grab a bag of popcorn, and let’s get started churning up some laughter!
What are Amish puns?
Before we dive into the puns themselves, let’s define what we mean by “Amish puns.” It’s no secret that the Amish community is known for its traditional way of life, which includes dressing in plain clothing, living without electricity, and using horse-drawn buggies for transportation.
Amish puns, then, play off of these stereotypes and often involve wordplay based on traditional Amish activities or beliefs. For example:
- “Why did the Amish guy refuse anesthesia for his surgery? He wanted to experience the full pain of technology!”
- “What do you call an Amish guy with a cell phone? Rumspringa Rebel.”
Now that we’ve established what we’re talking about, let’s get into the fun stuff: the puns themselves.
Best Short Amish Puns
- I’m not Amish, but I’d love to try some of that churned butter.
- Did you hear the one about the Amish woman who never cooked? It was an a-meish-dish effort.
- What do you get when you combine the Amish with an infomercial? Barn in a Box.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to pay for his electricity bill? He thought it was shocking.
- What do you call an Amish guy with his arm stuck in a milking machine? An udder disaster.
- Why did the Amish man buy a smartphone? He wanted to be able to “raise barns” by himself.
- What do you call a group of Amish people running a marathon? The Butter Runners.
- Why did the Amish guy build his own car? He wanted a vehicle that was barn-made.
- What do you call an Amish man with a piece of straw in his mouth? A farmer’s smile.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use elevators? Because he didn’t want to get a rise out of anyone.
- Why do Amish people make bad musicians? They have a bad case of churn-tourette’s.
- Why did the Amish woman join the army? To get a barn and a bed, all in one.
- What do you call an Amish man with no friends? Amish-alone.
- Why don’t Amish people use power tools? They prefer to keep things old-school.
- Why did the Amish man hide his food under his hat? Because he wanted to have a secret s-raisin.
- What do you get when you cross an Amish person with a giant bird? A quack-a-doodle-do.
- Why did the Amish woman refuse to wear a swimsuit? She didn’t want to be too buoyant.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always digging? A barn-raiser.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to fight with his neighbors? He didn’t want to cause a rum-spring-a-ling.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s good at math? A farmer-tician.
- Why do Amish people never get lost? They always know what direction the sun is in.
- What do you call an Amish man with a lot of money? A rich plowboy.
- Why don’t Amish people play cricket? Too many butter-fingers.
- What do you call an Amish woman who’s always on her phone? A social butter-fly.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to get a haircut? He didn’t want to get a barn cut.
Amish One-liner Puns
- I saw an Amish guy walk into an Apple Store once, and he asked the clerk, “Are these all hand-cranked?”
- What do you call an Amish guy in the city? Lost in translations.
- Why don’t Amish people play Uno? Because they’re never dyeing their clothes.
- What do you call an Amish gym instructor? A swole-craftsman
- Why did the Amish man refuse to go to space? He didn’t want to leave the sp-earth behind.
- What do you call an Amish electrician? A not-so-bright spark.
- Did you hear about the Amish man who invented the telegraph? He was really good at Morse code.
- Why did the Amish girl refuse to get a nose job? She didn’t want to get a barn-itization.
- What do you call an Amish woman who’s always singing? A farm-onizer.
- Why do Amish people never get into fights? They’re always too busy churning up butter.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to play soccer with his friends? He didn’t want to have a barn-around.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always drinking coffee? An espresso-plower.
- Why do Amish people love to knit? They’re always drawn to the stitches.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s really good at seducing women? A hay-baled player.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to swim in the ocean? He didn’t want to cause any tidal-churn.
- What do you call an Amish woman who’s always baking cakes? A flour-power ranger.
- Why do Amish people never use the internet? They don’t want to become hack-tivists.
- What do you call an Amish man who refuses to use a GPS? A way-finding barnstormer.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to become a scientist? He liked things to stay farm-iliar.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always going to the gym? An an-a-barn-ic lifter.
- Why do Amish people never skydive? They’re too afraid of sudden butter-flies.
- What do you call an Amish person who’s really good at solving jigsaw puzzles? A barn-to-be-wild genius.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to go see a movie? He thought it might be a talkie-talk.
- What do you call an Amish woman who’s always playing practical jokes? A jester-with-the-rest.
- Why do Amish people make terrible hairdressers? They’re always getting mixed up between a cow-lick and a goat-lick.
Funny Puns for Amish
- What did the Amish woman say to the well-dressed man? “Nice clothes, but they’re just a little too zippersome for my taste.”
- Why does an Amish man never wear a watch? Because every time he puts it on, he’s back in time.
- Did you hear about the Amish man who got a tattoo? It was a horse-drawn carriage.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to get a credit card? He was afraid he might get charged with electrification.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always carrying a hammer? A nail-driver supreme.
- Why do Amish people love to play basketball? Because they get to do a lot of butter-jumps.
- What do Amish people say when they see a UFO? “Wow, that’s a really odd-looking bird.”
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a fax machine? He preferred to communicate the old-fashioned way: by sending a horse.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s constantly putting on weight? A churning dough-ball.
- What do you get when you cross an Amish man with a kangaroo? A hop-doodle-do.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to wear a top hat? He preferred to wear a straw hat because it had more ventilation.
- What do you call an Amish man who always tells terrible jokes? A butter-grin.
- Why don’t Amish people ever go sailing? They’re always afraid they might get a salted barn.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always dancing? A barn-dancer extraordinaire.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a hairdryer? He preferred to air-dry his beard.
- What do you call an Amish woman who’s always painting landscapes? A farmy artist.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a microwave? He was always afraid it might cause a barn explosion.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always cracking jokes? A butter-cheerful soul.
- Why do Amish people prefer to dress in plain clothing? Because they don’t want to be too flashy.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always playing pinball? A flipper-enthusiast.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a chainsaw? He didn’t want to make any unwanted lumber.
- What do you call an Amish woman who’s always playing hide-and-seek? A hiding-plain-seeker.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to watch TV? He didn’t want to be clueless about the world.
- What do you call an Amish man who’s always lifting weights? A barnfit warrior.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a leaf blower? He preferred to rake his leaves by hand to get some exercise.
Amish Puns for Kids
- Why was the Amish girl afraid of elevators? Because they’re always up to something.
- What do you call an Amish boy who loves to play video games? A farm-hero.
- Why do Amish people love to play soccer? Because they always score big in the butter standings.
- What do you call an Amish girl who’s always studying math? A number-crunching belle.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a chainsaw? He didn’t want to disturb baby birds’ nesting.
- What do you call an Amish boy who’s always building things? A barn-builder-in-training.
- Why do Amish people prefer to use candles instead of light bulbs? Because candles are more romantic.
- What do you call an Amish boy who’s always telling jokes? A funny-farmer-in-the-making.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a computer? He didn’t want to risk getting an electric shock.
- What do you get when you cross an Amish girl with a rabbit? A hop-getter.
- Why do Amish people love to play tag? Because they’re always on the run.
- What do you call an Amish boy who’s always playing with toys? A plain and simple toy-leader.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a telescope? He preferred to stargaze with his naked eye.
- What do you call an Amish girl who’s always drawing pictures? A farmy artist-in-the-making.
- Why do Amish people always wear hats? To keep their hair in place.
- What do you get when you cross an Amish boy with a squirrel? A nutty farmer.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use rollerblades? He didn’t want to risk getting run over by his horse.
- What do you call an Amish girl who’s always singing? A farmgirl diva.
- Why do Amish people prefer to use pencils instead of pens? Because they love to erase their mistakes.
- What do you get when you cross an Amish boy with a frog? A hoppy-go-lucky lad.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a hairbrush? He preferred a good old-fashioned comb.
- What do you call an Amish girl who’s always reading books? A bookworm with farm values.
- Why do Amish people love to play board games? Because they’re always looking for a good challenge.
- What do you get when you cross an Amish boy with a cow? A moo-tiful farmer.
- Why did the Amish man refuse to use a chainsaw? He preferred an old-fashioned saw to cut wood.
Amish Puns in Movies
The Amish community is a popular subject in movies. In comedy films, it is not uncommon to hear Amish puns used for humor. Here are some examples:
- In the movie “Kingpin”, the character played by Woody Harrelson says, “I met her at a discotheque; she was Amish, it was a Rumspringa thing.”
- In “Sex Drive”, a character says, “Are you Amish? I didn’t know they made ginger ale in heaven.”
- In “The Love Guru”, Mike Myers’ character says, “I was Amish until I was 28 years old, and then I decided to come out and become a Hindu.”
These puns are often used to poke fun at the perceived simplicity of Amish life and culture, or to highlight the contrast between the modern world and the traditional Amish way of life. However, it is important to note that these jokes can also be seen as insensitive or offensive to members of the Amish community.
Despite this, Amish puns continue to be used in movies and popular culture. As long as they are used respectfully and in good humor, they can provide a lighthearted way to explore cultural differences and similarities.
Key Takeaway
While Amish puns can be a source of humor in movies, it is important to be aware of their potential impact on members of the Amish community. It is always a good practice to use them kindly and to avoid unintentionally causing offense or perpetuating harmful stereotypes.
