Prison, an institution that is known worldwide for being a place where people serve their sentences after committing a crime. While the concept of prison is generally associated with punishment and rehabilitation, there is a lighter side to it as well. Yes, you guessed it right, we are talking about prison puns! These playful wordplays inspired by the prison environment can bring laughter and humor to anyone, anytime.
In this article, we have compiled of the best prison puns. So, whether you are a fan of puns, looking for a laugh or just want to see what the fuss is all about, keep on reading.
What are Prison Puns?
Prison puns are wordplays that revolve around the theme of prisons, inmates, and anything related to the correctional environment. These puns usually rely on the humorous or ironic interpretation of the words related to the prison, the detainees or the staff who work there. With that said, let’s dive into the puns!
Best Short Prison Puns
- Why did the prisoner refuse to share his cell with anyone else? He wanted to be alone, or cell-fish.
- Can February March? No, but April May!
- The prisoner put in a sentence but the judge took it out.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the prison? Don’t worry, he woke up.
- The new inmate asked his cellmate how long he had been in jail. The cellmate replied, “I’ve been here so long, I know the name of every guard, but none of their names are the same as when I first got locked up!”
- How do prisoners make phone calls? With cell phones.
- Why did the prisoner break his mirror? He wanted to escape the reflection.
- Did you hear about the prison break at the zoo? Apparently, the only one who escaped was the gorilla.
- What did the inmate say when he was asked what he was in for? Insider trading.
- Prison is just like high school, except the bullies have knives.
- How does a prisoner find his way through the forest? By following the con-creek.
- Why did the bailiff bring an avocado to the prison? He thought it was an escape-a-do.
- What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark? The period – it marks the end of their sentence.
- Why don’t you ever want to see an escaping prisoner? Because if you see one, you’ve seen them all.
- Which race always wins in prison? The rat race.
- What did the prisoner say to the guard who caught him? “I’m re-forming”.
- What do you call a prisoner who takes his own mugshot? A cellfie.
- What do you call a prisoner who takes his own food to prison? A con-serve-tive.
- Why was the math teacher sent to the prison? For being a number-cracker.
- What do you call a prisoner who likes his bed to be clean and tidy? Con-squeaky.
- Why do prisoners get tattoos? It helps them mark their territory.
- Why do prisoners hate going to the cafeteria? It’s always a con-fusion.
- Why are prisoners the best comedians? They know how to escape from tough situations.
- What did the prison warden say to his wife? “I think you’re doing a great job domesticating me.”
- Why did the prisoner refuse to eat the food in prison? He didn’t like the con-dements.
One-Liner Prison Puns
- What do you call a happy prisoner? A flee con.
- What’s the difference between an inmate and a hippie? An inmate wants to be released from jail, a hippie wants to be released from life.
- Why did the convict go to the doctor? He had a felon-y.
- The prison library is the only place where the left and the right can come together and share ideas.
- How do you know if your cellmate is a good storyteller? He keeps you in suspense.
- What do you call an inmate who is always in a rush? Con-centrated.
- What do you call a claustrophobic prisoner? Cell-phobic.
- Prison is not a place for witty comebacks, it’s a place for serving sentences.
- What do you call a prisoner who can’t stop running? A fugitive runner.
- What do prisoners use to communicate with each other? Cell phones.
- The convicted banker asked the judge for leniency, saying that “he was a poor man once too, but then he got a loan.”
- The prison orchestra is made up of cell-ists.
- What do you call a prisoner who loves to read? A book-ie.
- Why did the prisoner refuse to eat the food in prison? He didn’t want to be grilled by the warden.
- The prisoners were disappointed when they realized that their escape plan was just a pipe dream.
- How do you get a prisoner to laugh? You tickle his con-science.
- What do prisoners wear on their feet? Insti-shoes.
- Why did the robber go to prison on Christmas? He wanted to steal the presents.
- The prison doctor always prescribes lock-tion.
- Why did the prisoner refuse to play cards? He didn’t want to be dealt with.
- What do you call a prisoner who’s good at math? Count Con.
- Why did the prisoner paint himself like a zebra? He was trying to escape incog-neigh-to.
- Did you hear about the prisoner who broke out with a spoon? They’re calling it a silver escape.
- How do prisoners communicate with each other? By cell phone.
- Why don’t prisoners have access to social media? It’s too much of a cell-phone-y.
Funny Puns for Prison
- What do prisoners use to keep their hands warm? Jail-mitts.
- The warden always takes the stairs because he’s afraid of the con-elevator.
- Why do prisoners never escape in the winter? The barway is frozen.
- The new prisoner was so scared, he wet his con-pants.
- What do you call a prison where everyone has cat-like reflexes? A whisker-skin.
- Why do most prisoners wear glasses? They don’t want to serve their sentence in blur-rye vision.
- Why did the prisoner shave his head? He wanted to be bail-less.
- What do you call a prison where everyone serves Brunch? A toast-tat.
- What did the prisoner say to the janitor? “I’m sorry for taking you for granted.”
- Why don’t prisons serve sushi? Because they’re worried about raw-berties.
- What do you call it when a new prisoner is given a tour of the facility? Jail-breakfast.
- What do you call a group of prisoners who go to church? Cell-group.
- Why don’t prisoners trust the prison clock? It’s always doing time.
- What’s a prisoner’s favorite day of the week? Release Day.
- Why did the prisoner steal a calendar? He wanted to do time ahead.
- What do you call a group of prisoners who work out together? Cell-mates.
- Why did the prisoner refuse to use the bathroom in prison? He didn’t want to be behind bars.
- What do you call a prisoner with a sore throat? Incarcerated tonsils.
- Why was the prisoner so good at gardening? Because he had a green thumb.
- What do you call a prison chef who makes bad food? A convict-ional chef.
- What did the prisoner say after he was released from prison? “I’m finally a free con-tractor.”
- Why is it hard to teach a prisoner how to use computers? They always CTRL + ALT + DELETE.
- Why do prisoners prefer tea over coffee? They like to serve their sentence in tea parties.
- What’s the best way to break out of prison? Mind over matter, if you don’t mind, they don’t matter.
- Why is it hard to take a shower in prison? Because the soap keeps dropping!
Prison Puns for Kids
- Why did the prisoner’s bike keep falling over? Because it was two-cell.
- Why did the prisoner line his shoes with paper? So he could sneak up on the guards silently.
- What do you call a prisoner’s favorite game? Cellitaire.
- Why don’t prisoners send letters on weekends? Because it’s their time off.
- What do you call a chicken in prison? An inmate.
- What’s a prisoner’s favorite fruit? A con-pote.
- What do you call a prisoner who is always sad? Depressin.
- What do you call a prisoner who takes really long naps? Conk out.
- Why do prisoners always carry dictionaries? They always want to find the escape clause.
- What’s a prisoner’s favorite dinosaur? Jail-saurus Rex.
- What do you call a prisoner’s favorite snack? Lock-ies.
- What did the inmate use to write his book? Jail-pen.
- Why do prisoners always wear stripes? So they can’t camouflage.
- What’s a prisoner’s favorite subject in school? Cell-Gerba.
- Why was the prisoner so good at baking? He had a captive audience.
- What do you call a group of prisoners who play together? A cell-eband.
- Why did the robber break into the prison? He wanted to steal time.
- How do prisoners send secret messages? Using ink-arceration.
- Why did the prisoner always lose at chess? He kept trying to break out of the board.
- What do you call a prisoner’s favorite tv show? Orange is the new black and white.
- Why do prisoners put reflective materials in their gardens? They want to grow con-cucumber.
- What do you call a prisoner who likes to drive around town? A convict-ible.
- Why do prisoners always carry a spoon? They want to dig their way to freedom.
- What did the prisoner say when he saw a UFO? “I never thought I’d see the day a flying saucer got locked up too!”
- What do you call a prisoner who is always tired? A conked-out con.
Catchy Prison Puns Used in Movies
Apart from real-life situations, prison puns have also been used in various movies and TV shows. Here are a few examples:
- “The Shawshank Redemption” – “Get busy living or get busy dying”
- “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” – “We’re up a creek the size of the Mississippi.”
- “The Blues Brothers” – “Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues, two blues singers on a mission from God.”
- “Goodfellas” – “You got a good business here, nice neighborhood. Be a shame if something happened to it.”
- “Cool Hand Luke” – “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
- “The Longest Yard” – “Playing football in prison is like playing in the NFL…except the tackles hurt a little more.”
- “Count of Monte Cristo” – “God will give me justice” “God? I thought we were beyond that. Surely you’ve realized by now that God is dead?”
Key Takeaway
Puns related to the prison life have been an age-old source of laughter and entertainment. They range from mild chuckles to outbursts of laughter and can lighten up any mood. In this article, we have discussed various categories of prison puns, including 25 best short prison puns, 25 one-liner prison puns, 25 funny puns for prison, 25 prison puns for kids and a few examples of prison puns used in movies. These puns can be used in various situations, and they never get old. They can be shared with your friends, family, or even your inmates as they can make anyone’s day better.
