Month Puns Puns

125+ Calendar Puns That Will Tick(le)le Your Funny Bone

Calendar Puns
Written by Hilly Martin

Are you tired of the same old jokes? Maybe it’s time to add a little flavor to your humor with some puns! And what better way to do that than with calendar puns? These puns are not just witty and funny, but they also allow us to play with time and dates. In this article, we have compiled a list of over calendar puns that are perfect for any occasion. So, sit back, relax, and let’s have a good laugh!

A calendar is a tool used to organize time into days, weeks, months, and years. It helps people keep track of important dates, appointments, and events, making it an essential part of daily life. Calendar puns infuse the structured world of dates and months with a playful twist. Whether it’s wordplay based on the names of months, days of the week, or significant holidays, these puns add a touch of humor to our everyday routines. They turn mundane calendar entries into memorable moments of mirth and amusement.

What are Calendar Puns?

Before we explore the world of calendar puns, let’s first define what they are. A pun is a form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings of a term or phrase. In the case of calendar puns, the wordplay is centered around the various terms associated with calendars, such as days of the week, months, holidays, and other important dates. Calendar puns can be short, one-liners, or funny anecdotes, and can be used in various settings, from casual conversations to movies and TV shows.

Best Short Calendar Puns

  • Why did the calendar go to therapy? Because it had too many dates!
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  • I’m taking a course on time travel. I hope to get back to it yesterday.
  • Why did May go to the doctor? Because April May.
  • Why do calendars hate trampolines? Because they always lose their dates!
  • What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
  • Why did the calendar break up with the clock? Because all it did was tick him off.
  • Why did the calendar have bad breath? Because it had too many dates!
  • Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils.
  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  • I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring my camera.
  • Why is the calendar always scared? Because its days are numbered!
  • Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  • What’s the best day to go to the beach? Sun-day.
  • What did June say to March? “Don’t look now, but I think we are being followed by April.”
  • Why did the physics book look sad? It had too many problems.
  • Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  • I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  • What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
  • How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  • Why are calendars always cool? Because they have lots of dates.
  • The inventor of the calendar got the sack. His days were numbered!
  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
  • Why don’t dogs make good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Best Short Calendar Puns

One-Liner Calendar Puns

  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.
  • I’m on two diets. I only eat vegetables on weekdays and pizza on weekdays.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  • Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
  • Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
  • I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  • I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it’s really hard. Good players are hard to find.
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
  • When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
  • I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • I hate jokes about German sausages. They’re the wurst.
  • I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
  • I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  • Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
  • I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  • I told my wife she was only coming with me to the grocery store because I needed someone strong to help me carry the soda. She looked soda-pressed.
  • I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring my camera.

Calendar Puns to Brighten Your Day

  • Transform mundane dates and months into opportunities for chuckles and giggles.
  • Add a whimsical twist to the structured world of timekeeping.
  • Crack jokes about why April showers bring May flowers or tease about Mondays feeling like they last longer than a month.
  • Playfully dance through the days of the week and the months of the year.
  • Sprinkle joy and lightheartedness into your daily routine.
  • Keep an eye out for the perfect opportunity to mark the moment with a clever calendar pun.
  • Watch as your day brightens with laughter with each witty wordplay.
  • Turn routine calendar checks into moments of amusement and delight.
  • Discover humor in the passing of time with clever calendar-based jokes.
  • Find the perfect pun to match each occasion, from birthdays to holidays.
  • Share a laugh with friends and family by incorporating calendar puns into conversations.
  • Make every day feel special by infusing it with the playful charm of calendar humor.
  • Elevate mundane tasks by adding a dash of wit and humor inspired by the calendar.
  • Enjoy the universal appeal of calendar puns, as they bring smiles to faces of all ages.

Funny Puns for Calendar

  • What do you call a frozen day of the week? A brrrrrr-uesday.
  • Why did the Sunday school teacher go to the Mardi Gras parade? She heard they had a saintly float!
  • Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize? He was out-standing in his field.
  • What do you call a calendar that always wants to be fed? Hungry Days.
  • Why did the calendar go to the doctor? Because it had a lot of days.
  • Why did the date break up with the grape? It told him he wasn’t raisin her expectations.
  • What do you call a ninja who is always late? Delayed-action.
  • What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  • Why did the calendar take a break from dating? It was tired of being dated all the time.
  • What do you call a calendar that’s full of bugs? A moth-er of a calendar
  • Why did the calendar hide behind the clock? He wanted to be forward.
  • What do you call a calendar that’s always on time? Punctual Days.
  • Why did the calendar wear sunglasses? Because the days were so bright.
  • How does a calendar go to the gym? One day at a time.
  • What did one calendar say to the other? “I’ll see you next month.”
  • Why did the calendar go to the gym? To tone its days.
  • What comes once in a month, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years? The letter “M.”
  • What does a calendar use to communicate? An app-ointment.
  • Why did the farmer buy a rooster? He thought he would make a good alarm clock.
  • Why did the calendar quit his job? He didn’t see the point in it.
  • What did the farmer say when he lost his calendar? I have no date!

Calendar Puns for Kids

  • What do you get when you cross a calendar with a basketball? A slam-dunk day!
  • Why was the calendar scared? Because his days were numbered!
  • Why did the calendar go to the chiropractor? Because it had too many dates!
  • Why did the ruler go to the calendar’s party? To rule the day!
  • What do you call a day that’s especially cold? Chilly-day!
  • Why did the polar bear refuse to jump in the pool? Because it was too cold outside!
  • What do you get when you cross a calendar with a dictionary? A word day!
  • Why couldn’t the calendar go skydiving? Because it had dates and couldn’t risk losing its memory!
  • Why did the calendar look so worried? Because it was running out of time!
  • What day of the week is the most important to trees? Satur-day!
  • What did the calendar say to the other calendar when it was being bossy? “Hey, get off my back, I’m taking it one day at a time!”
  • Why don’t calendars know how to play football? They always get penal-teas!
  • What do you call a calendar that’s always late? A procrastinator!
  • Why did the calendar refuse to take a nap? It had too many dates to keep track of!
  • What happened when the pencil met the calendar? They made a date!
  • Why did the calendar bring a fan to the party? To keep things cool!
  • What do you call a day that comes after Saturday and before Monday? Sunday!
  • What do you call a calendar that’s lost its memory? Forgetful Days!
  • Why did the calendar wear a bowtie? It wanted to look dapper for its important dates!
  • What did the calendar say when it finally got a vacation? “It’s about time!”
  • Why did the calendar cross the road? To get to the other side of the year!
One-Liner Calendar Puns

Good Calendar Puns Used in Movies

Calendar puns can add a touch of humor and wit to movies. Here are a few examples of calendar puns used in movies:

  • “Back to the Future”: In this iconic film series, the phrase “Great Scott!” is a common exclamation used by the character Dr. Emmett Brown, played by Christopher Lloyd. It’s a play on the name of the famous Scottish author Sir Walter Scott, but it also alludes to the concept of time travel and the importance of timing.
  • “Groundhog Day”: This comedy film starring Bill Murray centers around a weatherman who finds himself trapped in a time loop, reliving the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over again. The title itself is a calendar pun, referring to the annual event that takes place on February 2nd, where a groundhog predicts the arrival of spring.
  • “New Year’s Eve”: This romantic comedy features an ensemble cast and follows several interconnected stories that take place on New Year’s Eve in New York City. The title itself is a calendar pun, as it refers to the specific date and celebration.
  • “Leap Year”: This romantic comedy follows a woman who travels to Ireland to propose to her boyfriend on February 29th, which is traditionally known as Leap Day. The title plays on the concept of the leap year, which occurs every four years to synchronize the calendar with the solar year.
  • “The Time Traveler’s Wife”: This science fiction romance film is based on the novel of the same name by Audrey Niffenegger. While the title doesn’t directly include a pun related to the calendar, it emphasizes the theme of time and the concept of a traveler who experiences time in a non-linear fashion.

These are just a few examples of calendar puns used in movies. Puns like these can add an element of wordplay and cleverness, enhancing the overall entertainment value of a film.

Key Takeaways

In conclusion, calendar puns offer a timeless source of humor that can brighten up any day of the year. These puns playfully incorporate dates, months, and seasonal events, turning the passage of time into a playground of laughter and wit. Whether it’s a clever twist on a holiday or a humorous take on a month’s name, calendar puns have a way of adding a dash of fun to our daily routines. They remind us that even the most routine aspects of life can be infused with joy and amusement.

Calendar puns are a great way to add humor and wit to your conversations and to play with time-related words and meanings. In this article, we’ve explored over calendar puns that are suitable for different settings and audiences, including short puns, one-liners, funny puns for kids, and calendar puns used in movies.

Puns can be a useful communication tool as they can help to break the ice, lighten the mood, and make conversations more engaging. Another takeaway is that puns can improve your creative thinking and language skills as they force you to come up with alternative meanings and usages of words. Overall, calendar puns are a fun and entertaining way to show off your sense of humor and intelligence!

About the author

Hilly Martin