Working in an office can be serious and stressful, but injecting a little humor can make a huge difference in making the day go by faster and smoother. One way to do that is by using office puns to lighten up the mood and add a touch of wit in daily conversations. In this article, we’ve compiled over 99 hilarious office puns that will surely make your coworkers and yourself laugh out loud.
What are Office Puns?
Office puns are a play on words or a humorous use of language that relates to office life and work settings. These puns often have a double meaning, with one meaning being related to the typical work environment, and the other meaning being a humorous interpretation. Office puns can be used in different situations such as email subject lines, office memos, conversations with coworkers, or even during meetings to add humor and reduce tension.
Best Short Office Puns
- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue, can’t put it down.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
- I hate it when my computer doesn’t work. I always end up asking IT for a hand.
- The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
- I’m terrible at directions, but I’m willing to go the extra mile to get lost.
- I don’t trust people who sell pens. They’re always trying to rope you in.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
- I was going to make a heart pun, but I don’t valve it enough.
- You don’t have to be a banker to understand interest.
- I’m a big fan of wind turbines. I think they’re quite re-volting.
- Don’t be a banker, they’re always losing interest.
- I got a job as a human cannonball. It’s a blast.
- I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a muscle.
- Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything.
- I used to be addicted to soap operas, but I’m clean now.
- I told my boss three jokes, but the timing was off on every one. He said “time is money”.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the office? They woke up.
One-liner Office Puns
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
- Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.
- If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.
- I hate going to bed, I always wake up sleepy.
- I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
- My new job at the aquarium has me swimmingly happy.
- I’m a huge fan of wind turbines. They just have such a compelling and revolting story.
- I used to work at a blanket factory, but it folded.
- I love my job at the orange juice factory. I’m always concentrated.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you call 10 hit men in a circle? A firing squad.
- I used to work for a belt factory, but it was a waist of time.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue, can’t put it down.
- How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
- I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Why did the scarecrow get promoted at work? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged.
- What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A Moo-sical band.
- Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why was the belt arrested? For holding up pants without a license.
- Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
Funny Puns for Office
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he’s all right now.
- Why don’t seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- What does one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- I’m not a big fan of archery. I find it hard to pull.
- Why do wizards clean their wands? To keep them in good spell-titude.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
- I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- What musical instrument is always in the bathroom? The tuba toothpaste.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I don’t trust people who sell pens. They’re always trying to rope you in.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
- I’m a punny person, but my jokes need a little time to marinate.
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
- What does garlic say when it gets hot in the kitchen? I’m getting jalapeño business.
- How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.
Office Puns for Kids
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark? Frostbite!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.
- What do you get when you cross a bear and a skunk? Winnie the Pee-Yew!
- Why don’t Mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho Cheese!
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning, you’ll rise and shine!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday—the rest are weekdays.
- What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
- Why was the broom late for the meeting? It swept in at the last minute.
- What do you call a belt with a watch on it? Time belt!
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
- Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.
- What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck!
- Why did the piano break up with the guitar? It thought the guitar was a player.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
Catchy Office puns used in movie
Certainly! Here are some office puns used in movies:
- “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.” – “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.” – Office Space (1999)
- “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing in Friends (TV series)
- “The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, ah… you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.” – Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
- “What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick.” – Sarah Palin in Game Change (2012)
- “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” – Mugatu in Zoolander (2001)
- “Why don’t you just go home? That’s your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me!” – Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore (1996)
- “I’m not sure what he’s trying to say, but I think he’s trying to say something.” – Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber (1994)
- “I’m the dude. So that’s what you call me. That, or His Dudeness … Duder … or El Duderino, if, you know, you’re not into the whole brevity thing.” – The Dude in The Big Lebowski (1998)
- “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.” – Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
- “Yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er.” – John McClane in Die Hard (1988)
Conclusion
Office puns are a hilarious way to lighten the mood and bring some laughter to the workplace. Whether used in conversation, email subject lines, or even in movies, these puns can bring a smile to anyone’s face. From funny one-liners about coffee to clever wordplay about office supplies, there are endless possibilities for office puns. So don’t be afraid to unleash your inner comedian and try some out in your office!
