103 Hilarious English Teacher Puns for Language Lovers

Are you a fan of puns? Are you an English teacher or student in need of a good laugh? Look no further! This article compiles English teacher puns that are sure to make you smile, groan, or chuckle. From clever one-liners to silly jokes for kids, there’s something here for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the punny ride!

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What Are English Teacher Puns?

Firstly, let’s define puns. A pun is a play on words that exploits different meanings or sounds of words that are similar-sounding, but have different meanings. English teacher puns are specifically puns related to the study of English language and literature. These puns can be used to make learning fun or to add a humorous touch to a class discussion. They can also be used in movies, shows, or literature as a clever device to add humor to a scene.

Best Short English Teacher Puns

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.

I used to have a job as a professional cricket player, but I just couldn’t get a leg up.
I went to a zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low, she looked surprised.

Have you heard about that new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu, just comeuppance.
I’m a big fan of whiteboards, they’re quite re-markable.
Why did Shakespeare only ever write in ink? Because pens were his sword.

I’m reading a horror book in Braille, something bad’s about to happen… I can feel it.
What’s a word made up of four letters yet is also made up of three? The answer is “Dry”.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
What do you call a cow that twitches? Beef jerky.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.
I’m on a whiskey diet, I lost three days already.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.

I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

One-Liner English Teacher Puns

The communist sword always strikes left.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t raise the dough.

I renamed my iPod the Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing”.
What do you call a small mother? A minimum.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? ‘El-if-i-no’

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick, she still isn’t talking to me.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I hate perforated lines, they’re tearable.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low. She looked surprised.
You know what really bugs me? Insects.
I don’t trust people who take drugs. Mostly because they’re thieves.

What do you call a man in denial? A recliner.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too far apart. She looked surprised.
If a giraffe had a sore throat, how would it sound? Like an opera singer.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
I told my wife she was painting with too much glitter. She said I’m not afraid to sparkle.

I quit my job as a personal trainer, I just didn’t fit in.
I got a job in a grocery store, but didn’t find it appealing.
You know what really bugs me? Insects.

How do you cut a wave in half? Use a sea-saw.

Funny Puns for English Teachers

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it’s really hard to find good players…

I was going to make a belt made out of watches, but then realized it would be a waist of time.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
People say I’m condescending (that means I talk down to people).

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myself to blame – no one else was reading to me.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why do ducks make great detectives? They always quack the case.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too far apart. She looked surprised.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
I told my wife she was painting with too much glitter. She said I’m not afraid to sparkle.

I’m on a whiskey diet, I lost three days already.
Did you hear about the restaurant called “Karma”? There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
Why was the belt sent to prison? For holding up the pants.