Intro: Whether you’re an aspiring stand-up comedian or just fond of a good laugh, puns are perfect for bringing on the chuckles. And for anyone who loves a cold beer or an ice-cold lemonade in a bottle, the world of bottle puns has a lot to offer. From dad jokes to one-liners, and even sentimental puns that will make your heart sing, bottle puns come in all shapes and sizes. So, get ready to crack open some laughter with these 107+ bottle puns that will leave you tipsy with laughter.
What Is Bottle Puns
Bottle puns are jokes or puns that are based on or relate to bottled drinks or bottles in general. These puns play on the words, meanings, and sounds of bottle-related terms to create humorous and often unexpected twists. Bottle puns can take many forms, including one-liners, short quips, punny phrases, or even longer jokes. So, whether you prefer your humor dry or wet, there’s a bottle pun for everyone.
Best Short-Bottle Puns
- Why did the beer bottle go to the doctor? It was feeling a little ruff.
- Why did the fizzy drink go to jail? Because it was bottled up.
- I canceled my gym membership because lifting beer bottles is my new workout.
- Why don’t bottles go to college? They’re scared of their caps and gowns.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little whine.
- Why can’t pirates take a shower before getting on their ship? Because they have to bottle it up until they reach the shores.
- Why does a bottle make a bad friend? It’s always empty without a drink.
- A bottle of soda told a bottle of lemonade a secret. It was a little fizzcal.
- What do you call a bottle that has a cold? A snot bottle!
- Why was the bottle of ginger beer feeling shy? Because it had lost its fizz-ness.
- The bottle of water had to go on an unpaid leave because it refused to work when it was cloudy.
- Welcome to the beer aisle. Where every case and every bottle is a mystery.
- Do you know why bottles make bad listeners? They always interrupt to say cheers.
- Why was the bottle of lemonade afraid of the freezer? It was scared it would get lemonagoed.
- I took a shower with a bottle of red wine today. It was a grape time.
- Why did the bottle of vodka break his marriage? Because he was always on the rocks.
- Why was the bottle of soda feeling depressed? Because it had no one to Schweppes talk to.
- I love a good bottle pun, but sometimes I feel like they’re too corky.
- Why did the bottle of wine turn left? Because it saw the beer right.
- Why did the beer bottle refuse to donate to charity? Because it was ashamed it could only give pint-sized donations.
- The bottle of water felt really inferior compared to the bottle of red wine. So, it joined the swim team.
- Why was the bottle of shampoo afraid of the liquor cabinet? It didn’t want to get mixed up.
- What’s a bottle’s favorite sport? Squash.
- Why don’t beer bottles go out on a date with wine bottles? Because wine always wants to go to Connery.
- What do you use to open a tight bottle cap? A frat boy.
One-Liner Bottle Puns
- I have a bottle of mayonnaise that’s past its expiration date. Don’t worry, I won’t spread the news.
- Why was the grape juice angry? It was bottled up inside.
- A bottle of water and a bottle of vodka walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve water here.”
- My boss asked me to bring him a bottle of water. I told him I’d Fiji it out.
- What type of drink makes you fall asleep while looking at a rainbow? Snapple.
- What do you get when you cross a bottle of whiskey with a bottle of rum? Whiskrum.
- Why did the bottle go to school? To get a higher degree-gree.
- What did the wine bottle say to the beer bottle? “You’re underage!”
- Why don’t bottles ever give to charity? They’re too cap tight.
- My favorite vegetable is celery, but I don’t like bottling up my feelings about it.
- What did one bottle of water say to the other bottle of water? ” Sorry, I was Evian-ly mistaken.”
- Why did the beer bottle cross the road? To get to the bottle shop.
- What do you get when you put a bottle of vodka in the microwave? An Absolut mess.
- I used to have a fear of bottle caps, but I got over it.
- What do you call a group of bottles trying to organize a union? A bottle neck.
- Why did the bottle of ketchup break up with the bottle of mustard? Because it thought they were too saucy.
- I’m training to become a professional beer taster. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
- Why don’t bottles ever get cold feet? Because they always have their sleeves on.
- I told my boss I was going to write a book about bottles. He said it could be a real page-turner.
- What do you say when a bottle of beer apologizes to you? “It’s ale right.”
- Why don’t wine bottles ever apologize? Because they’re always too corky.
- I spilled my bottle of soda, and now I’m feeling a little flat.
- What did the bottle of water say to the glass of water on the table? “Is it just me, or is it getting crowded in here?”
- I tried to start a petition to get all bottles to be recyclable, but it didn’t gain any traction.
- What do you call a bottle of soda that’s always late? Fizzy-ly challenged
Funny Puns for Bottle
- What’s a bottle’s favorite TV show? Bottle Shock.
- Why did the bottle of vodka refuse to go to school? It was a real straight-edge.
- What type of beer do dogs drink? K-9 IPA.
- What did the bottle of wine say to the bottle of beer after a long day at work? “We could all use a good Merlot-down.”
- Why don’t bottles ever date other bottles? They’re afraid of breaking up.
- Why don’t hipsters ever drink IPAs out of a bottle? Because they always prefer to be can-tentious.
- Why did the bottle of sparkling water break up with the bottle of still water? It thought it was too bubbly.
- I asked my friend if they like their beer cold or warm. They answered, “I like my beer like I like my women…bad for my liver.”
- Why did the bottle of wine refuse to go on a picnic? Because it didn’t want to be considered a cheapskate.
- Why did the bottle of soda break up with the can of soda? Because it was can-fling with another can.
- What did the bottle of hot sauce say when it got to a bar? “I’m feeling a little jalapeno business.”
- What type of beers do ghosts drink? Boo-ze.
- Why don’t bottles ever carry cash around? Because they’re always bottle-necking at the ATM.
- Why did the bottle of tequila break up with the bottle of margarita mix? They had too many mixed emotions.
- Why did the bottle of beer refuse to go on a second date? Because it thought the first date was Lager than life.
- What type of beer does Santa Claus drink? North Pole Ale.
- Why don’t bottles ever trust people who drink from straws? They’re always trying to suck the fun out of everything.
- Why did the bottle of whiskey break up with the bottle of red wine? It thought it was too grapey for him.
- What type of beer do mice drink? Schlitz cheese.
- Why don’t bottles ever make good detectives? They always crack under pressure.
- Why did the bottle of cola break up with the bottle of root beer? It couldn’t stomach their differences.
- What did the bottle of water say to the bottle of Gatorade? “You’re pretty cool, but you’re not really my type.”
- Why did the bottle of beer go on a day trip to the beach? It wanted to beer-y the hatchet with its ex.
- Why did the bottle of hot sauce refuse to go to a party? It didn’t want to get sauced.
- Why didn’t the bottle of wine want to go to the party? It didn’t want to be boxed in.
Bottle Puns for Kids
- What did the orange soda say when he saw his reflection in the mirror? Jarritos me!
- Why do bottles make bad musicians? They’re always out of tune.
- What did one bottle of juice say to the other bottle of juice at the party? “Wanna dance to some juiced-up music?”
- Why did the bottle of milk go to space? To see the Milky Way.
- What do you get when you cross a bottle of soda with a bottle of lemonade? A fizzing lemonade party.
- Why don’t bottles ever do well on tests? They always get bottled up with anxiety.
- Why didn’t the bottle of water want to go to the beach? It was afraid of getting Tropicana.
- What do you call a group of bottles playing tag? Bottle tag.
- What do you get when you mix a bottle of orange soda with a bottle of grape soda? Traffic jam.
- Why do bottles make bad detectives? They’re always spilling the beans.
- Why did the bottle of juice refuse to play basketball? Because it’s not really a sports-drink.
- What did the bottle of sparkling water say to the bottle of still water? “You need to lighten up a little.”
- Why did the bottle of soda get grounded? Because it was too carbonated.
- What do you call a bottle of cider that can play the piano? A cider-composer.
- Why don’t bottles ever like going to the dentist? They’re always afraid of getting capped.
- Why did the bottle of gatorade break up with the bottle of powerade? They had too many electrolytes.
- What did the bottle of ice tea say to the bottle of water when it got too cold? “I’m starting to feel tea-rific!”
- Why don’t bottles ever wear watches? They’re always on bottle time.
- What did the bottle of soda say to the bottle of juice? “Sup, all my sodemite friends?”
- Why don’t bottles ever take selfies? They’re scared of shattering their image.
- What did the bottle of lemonade say when it got a sugar high? “I’m feeling lemonadeic!”
- Why did the bottle of orange juice break up with the bottle of apple juice? It thought it was too pomegranateful.
- What do you call a bottle of water that’s feeling lonely? Aqua-holic.
- How do bottles stay cool in the summer? They put on their sleeves.
- Why did the bottle of juice refuse to go to the dance party? Because it was afraid of getting too pulp-y.
Bottle Puns Use in Movies
The Bottle puns are not confined to just casual conversations or jokes. Some of them have also found their way into movies and have become a part of pop culture. Below are some examples of bottle puns that have been used in popular movies:
- “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” – Fred and George Weasley, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004).
- “There’s no crying in baseball!” – Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own (1992).
- “Here’s looking at you, kid.” – Humphrey Bogart, Casablanca (1942).
- “I feel the need… the need for speed!” – Tom Cruise and Anthony Edwards, Top Gun (1986).
- “Bond, James Bond.” – Sean Connery, James Bond franchise.
- “May the force be with you.” – Harrison Ford, Star Wars franchise.
- “One martini, two martini, three martini, floor.” – Carey Grant, The Philadelphia Story (1940).
- “Life is like a bottle of a fine wine, the longer you ferment, the better you become.” – Russell Brand, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008).
- “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” – Will Ferrell, Anchorman (2004).
- “I’ll be back.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator franchise.
Key Takeaway
Bottle puns are a fun and creative way to lighten up any conversation and bring some humor to everyday life. Whether it’s a dad joke or a one-liner, a good bottle pun always has the potential to bring a smile to someone’s face. They can be used in a variety of settings, from casual conversations to movies and TV shows.
So if you’re ever in need of a quick laugh or just want to impress your friends with your clever wit, be sure to have a few bottle puns up your sleeve. As the famous saying goes, laughter is the best medicine, and bottle puns are the perfect prescription.
