Are you tired of driving around silently? Do you want to break the ice and make your journeys more fun? Look no further than this compilation of drive puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone and have your passengers laughing.
Driving can be a monotonous activity, but it doesn’t have to be. With this collection of drive puns, you have the power to lighten up any trip and make it memorable. Whether you’re on a road trip with your friends or commuting to work, these puns will keep a smile on your face no matter what the traffic is like. So buckle up and get ready for some wheely good jokes.
What are Drive Puns?
Drive puns are wordplay that revolves around the concept of driving. They often involve a play on words using road-related terminology or vehicle models, and are a fun way to make light of the otherwise mundane task of driving.
Best Short Drive Puns
- When I go on a road trip, I always take my GPS. It’s my co-pilot.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just giving you some “steer” advice.
- Why did the can-crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What did the grape say when it got run over by a car? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hareline.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
- What did one traffic light say to the other? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- Why don’t ghosts like to drive fast? They get car-sick.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- What do you call a donkey with only three legs? A wonkey.
- What do you call a car with a frog driving it? A jump-mobile.
- What do you call a car that’s full of sheep? A ewe-nique car.
- What do you call a car that’s been painted with stripes? A roadway-gator.
Drive Puns for your Oneliner Repertoire
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket? So he could run his fingers through his hair.
- What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
- Why did the octopus beat the shark in a race? Because it was well-armed.
- What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish.
- Why do they call it a shortcut if it actually takes longer?
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the car dealer on the other side.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you call a sheep that can sing? A ewe-nique.
- What do you get when you cross a frog and a traffic signal? A green hopper.
- Why don’t ghosts like to drive fast? They get car-sick.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
- What did one gear say to the other gear? I think we should mesh.
Creative Funny Drive Puns
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
- Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- I don’t like driving in the fog. It’s like driving blindfolded, but with extra steps.
- What do you call a group of cows that play instruments? A moo-sical band.
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little ant-bodies.
- What do you call a camel without a hump? Humphrey Dumptey.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
- What do you call a jacket that catches criminals? A coat of arms.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
- Why did the octopus beat the shark in a race? Because it was well-armed.
Catchy Drive Puns for Kids
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
- Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little ant-bodies.
- What do you call a camel without a hump? Humphrey Dumptey.
- What do you call a group of cows that play instruments? A moo-sical band.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- What do you call a beluga whale that can play an instrument? A whale harpist.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a jacket that catches criminals? A coat of arms.
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- Why don’t ghosts like to drive fast? They get car-sick.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy.
- Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies.
- What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
- Why don’t oysters give away their pearls? They’re too shellfish.
- What do astronauts use to keep their pants up? Asteroid belts.
- Why did the lion always lose at poker? He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Conclusion
Puns are a great way to add some fun and laughter to any situation, including long drives. Whether you’re driving alone or with friends and family, these puns are sure to entertain and lighten the mood. So next time you’re on a road trip or just stuck in traffic, try out some of these drive puns and see if you can get a laugh or two out of them.
And if you’re feeling creative, you can even come up with your own puns using words and phrases related to driving, cars, and roads. Who knows, you might just come up with a pun that’s even funnier than the ones on this list!
Just keep in mind that not everyone appreciates puns, so be sure to read the room before launching into a pun-filled monologue. And if you’re not sure whether your puns are hitting the mark, take your cues from your audience. If they’re groaning and rolling their eyes, it might be time to switch to a different topic of conversation.
