103+ Funny Dad Puns That Will Crack You Up

best funny Dad puns list
Written by Hilly Martin

Dads are definitely a special breed. They’re always up for a good laugh and love to come up with witty one-liners. If you’re looking for some inspiration, So check out these 103 Funny Dad Puns! And don’t forget to share your own in the comments below. Caption: I’m glad my dad puns is bald, because that means when he pulls his head out of the toilet, there’s nowhere for the water to go! Status: Just another day with my dad!

Need a good dad pun caption or status update for Father’s Day? So, check out our list of 103 funny dad puns! These will have you (and Dad) laughing all day long. We even threw in a few cheesy ones for good measure! Also Happy Father’s Day from the dad puns here at Caption & Status Ideas!

For More: 5 Example of Puns with Examples [Guide]

Funny dad puns

Funny Dad Puns Caption

  • How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
  • Keeping cool in a heatwave
  • Pictures of me when I was younger…
  • When you drop the kids at school and they don’t even look back.
  • Its all fun and games till someone has to pick up the soap in the shower
  • Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
  • It’s not easy being a circus clown
  • Every cloud has its photoshoot
  • I got 99 problems but this photo ain’t one.
  • This guy is posing for his holiday pictures with the sea in the background.
  • What did pirates say when they saw Santa? “Avast, there’s trouble on deck!”
  • I tell you, I get no-one to play with me these days!
  • I like big books and I cannot lie.
  • You can’t sit with us
  • Nice weather for ducks. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • The long arm of the law.
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles.
  • I’m so tired.
  • My other car is a pumpkin.
  • What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick

Short Dad Puns

  • When someone asks if I can see them, and I say no… But really yes because they aren’t there.
  • I just came here to watch the tennis and eat strawberries.
  • How many carrots does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows because the rabbit is faster.
  • I keep telling my sister I like her photo but all she hears was that I don’t like cheese.
  • Sometimes silence means yes and sometimes silence means no.
  • How can a leopard change his spots? By moving.
  • You should never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
  • I always sit at the back of the class so I can make it seem like I was paying attention.
  • When will lightening strike twice? When it has something to stick too
  • Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
  • How many kids does it take to tile a bathroom? That’s none of your business
  • What do you call a sheep that doesn’t drink? A lawn mower.
  • I’m not trying to escape the law! I’m just enjoying the freedom of being outside the house.
  • When you’re feeling sad think about life… Also think about what it means to live and why we live.
  • Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was stung by a bumblebee on his way home.
  • When your daughter says she’s hungry, but you were busy with work.
  • Dear me! the ant has fallen into my coffee cup!
  • I always drink my coffee with a fork to save time.
  • I was told I can’t use the office printer because it’s only for business use. So I’m printing this at home and taking it all with me!
  • What is a peacock’s favourite type of music? Feather and Brass!

Dad Puns One liners

  • If you take care of your pennies, your dollars will take care of themselves.
  • I was born this way. I’m just glad so I have legs that match.
  • What do you call a cow on the beach? A tourist!
  • Why are pirates called pirates? They arrrrrrgh funny!
  • If the zombie apocalypse happens, how will you know? All your friends will already be zombies.
  • What do you call a bee that can’t use its stinger? Stingless.
  • How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be ridiculous! Unicorns aren’t real!
  • I didn’t hit my brother… I high-fived him and missed.
  • My mum told me to look at the camera and smile. My mum wasn’t looking at the camera when she told me to do it.
  • I can’t wait to be old enough so I can go on a hot date.. With my bed.
  • I bet this road sign prank was thought of by a child…
  • What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
  • What do you call a pirate in winter? A frozen pirate.
  • Was that an earthquake or did mum just walk across the floor?
  • I’m sorry I can’t hear you over my awesome hair!
  • Are my legs broken because they won’t stop running away from me?
  • Why did the damn duck cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off.
  • When you are late for work, but your alarm doesn’t go off…
  • I used to be addicted to soap… But I’m clean now.
  • What do you call a dog that never wants to sleep? A watch dog.

Dad Puns Captions

  • What did you do this weekend? Oh just normal stuff, went to the bathroom and slept
  • Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
  • I’m not saying I hate you… I just hope everyone else likes you more than me.
  • Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!
  • I’m not saying I hate you… I just hope everyone else hates you more than me.
  • What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  • What do you call a cow in a onesie? A dairy-suit.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
  • I hate people when they’re not polite… Especially when I’m hungry.
  • Be kind whenever possible. It’s always possible.
  • What does a pig say when you take it to the movies? Oink oink oink!
  • Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I’m interested.
  • Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
  • I tried learning French but couldn’t do it.. It was too advanced for me.
  • What do you call a smart dog? A golden retriever.
  • I would say my dad is very funny… If he could tell jokes, that is!
  • Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
  • I’m hungry..But I don’t want a banana… I want a regular apple!

Dad Puns & Jokes Cringe

  • What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
  • What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
  • My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot… Till one day he fell off.
  • The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar… It was tense.
  • What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
  • What do batman and spiderman have in common? They both wear spandex.
  • I told my dad there’s an app for making fake pancakes… He said “Do you think I’m stupid?”
  • What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little whine.
  • I just tried to take a selfie while driving… I no longer have a driver’s license.
  • What goes up and down but won’t move? Stairs.
  • I tried putting pockets on the inside of my shirt, but it didn’t work out. My belly keeps falling into them.
  • What did Donald Trump say when he turned 50? “I can’t believe I’m still 50.”
  • What did the banana say to the vibrator? “Why are you shaking? She was supposed to eat me!”
  • My girlfriend said she wanted a pet… I didn’t get her one. Now we have a long distance relationship.
  • I was never good at sports.. But my dad said it was okay. He said “I never was either.”
  • I just caught my friend using his knife as a fork… I can’t believe he’s still alive!
  • When I told my dad to be quiet, he said “Okay, you don’t have to tell me twice!”

For More: 105 Funny Puns for Captions & Status


In conclusion, we hope that this collection of funny dad puns has brought a smile to your face and brightened up your day. We understand that humor is a great way to relieve stress and improve our mood, especially during these challenging times. We are grateful for the opportunity to share these puns with you and hope that they have brought some joy and laughter into your life.

We would like to express our thanks to our readers for taking the time to read this blog post. We appreciate your support and hope that you have found this content to be both entertaining and informative. We encourage you to share these puns with your friends and family, as well as to leave your feedback in the comments section below.

Lastly, we invite you to visit our website for more job description ideas and other content that we believe you will find valuable. We are committed to providing our readers with high-quality, engaging content that is both informative and entertaining. We look forward to hearing from you and continuing to share our love of puns and humor with you in the future.

Dad puns for instagram captions

About the author

Hilly Martin

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