Anyone who’s ever been to a bar knows that there’s a certain level of atmosphere and energy that’s unique to drinking establishments. A big part of that is the witty banter and laughter that fills the air, and nothing sets the stage for that quite like a good Bar Puns.
Whether you’re looking to impress your friends with your humor or just want to spice up your next night out, we’ve compiled over 111 clever bar puns to get you started. From bar puns to one-liners, these jokes are sure to leave you and your companions cracking up until last call.
What are Bar puns?
For those who are unfamiliar, Bar are a type of salamander with a distinctive appearance that is often described as cute. Their unique looks have made them a popular subject for memes and puns on social media, and they’ve made their way into the world of bar humor as well. Here are a few of our favorite bar puns:
Best Short Bar Puns
If you’re looking for a quick and easy way to add a little humor to your next night out, these short bar puns are sure to do the trick:
- “I can’t drink all day if I don’t start in the morning.”
- “Alcohol you later.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right – after a few drinks.”
- “I’m not a wine snob, I’m a wine enthusiast.”
- “I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it was really hard to find good players.”
- “I drink to make other people interesting.”
- “I’m not drunk, I’m just drinking.”
- “I have a drinking problem… I can’t afford it.”
- “Alcohol, making you see double and feel single since the dawn of time.”
- “Here’s to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.”
- “I have mixed drinks about feelings.”
- “Drinking is bad, but wine not?”
- “I need a beer, the government just shut down.”
- “I don’t get drunk, I get awesome.”
- “I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced.”
- “I drink to forget I drank.”
- “A day without wine is like… just kidding, I have no idea.”
- “Wine not?”
- “I have a drinking buddy, and his name is alcohol.”
- “Wine is just a more classy way to get drunk with friends.”
- “I have a love-hate relationship with alcohol. We love to hate each other.”
- “I’m not as drunk as you think I am, but I’m probably more fun.”
- “I’m just here for the wine – and to judge everyone who isn’t.”
- “Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.”
- “I drink therefore I am.”
One-Liner Bar Puns
If you’re more of a fan of quick and witty one-liners, these bar puns are right up your alley:
- “I’m not an alcoholic – they go to meetings.”
- “I only drink on days that start with T: Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow, and the day after that.”
- “I was going to switch to drinking whiskey, but then I thought, ‘Why bourbon a good thing?'”
- “My girlfriend broke up with me because I’m an alcoholic. I’m not sure who told her, because I’m actually a drunk.”
- “I didn’t think I was capable of getting drunk, but I proved me wrong.”
- “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
- “I’m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I think it’s a drunk seagull.”
- “I drank so much last night, I woke up with a tattoo of a cocktail umbrella on my back.”
- “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to do it at a bar.”
- “I think I’ll remember tonight for the rest of my life – because I’ll never drink again.”
- “I got kicked out of the bar for telling a joke about sodium. Na.”
- “I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m just an avid appreciator of adult beverages.”
- “I’m not saying I have a drinking problem, I’m saying I have a drinking solution.”
- “When life gives you lemons, make lemon drops and forget about your problems.”
- “I think I’ll stick with water tonight – said no one ever.”
- “Why does everyone say ‘whiskey on the rocks’? Why not ‘whiskey on the couch’ or ‘whiskey on the bed’?”
- “I told my wife that I’m going to start drinking beer for breakfast. She didn’t believe me, but I think I can pull it off.”
- “I’m not sure what kind of alcohol is in this drink, but I have a feeling it’s lost just as much as I am.”
- “Why did the grape stop in the middle of the bar? Because it ran out of juice.”
- “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to do it with my mouth open.”
- “I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of how much I can drink. Either way, I’m feeling pretty good about it.”
- “I’m not much of a scientist, but I’m pretty sure alcohol is a solution.”
- “Why did the lemon stop in the middle of the bar? Because it saw a sign that said ‘Free Refills’.”
- “I told my bartender I wanted something with a little bite. He served me a scorpion bowl.”
- “I tried a drink with extra sugar last night, but it didn’t help my situation. I’m still trying to get over my ex-gin.”
Funny Puns for Bar For Kids
Don’t leave the little ones out of the fun! Here’s a list of 25 bar puns that are appropriate for kids:
- “Why did the orange juice go to the bar? To get juiced!”
- “What do you call a blueberry in a bar? A bluebeery mojito.”
- “Why do they call it a root beer float? Because it’s so much fun, it’s like flying on a unicorn.”
- “What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.”
- “Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.”
- “What do you get when you cross a lemon and a banana? A peel-a lot of fun!”
- “Why did the celery want to break up with the carrot? Because it was getting stalked.”
- “What do you call a bear who loves beer? A brew-ski bear.”
- “Why did the taco walk into the bar? To get a drink of marGARITA.”
- “Why did the banana go to the bar? To split a drink with its friends.”
- “Why did the hamburger go to the bar? To get a side of fries with its drinks.”
- “What’s a grape’s favorite song to listen to at the bar? ‘I Will Survive’ by Gloria Juice-ner.”
- “What do you call an alligator bartender? An inn-toxic-gator.”
- “What do you get when you mix a grasshopper and a mojito? A yummy treat that’s perfect for summertime.”
- “Why did the tomato turn red at the bar? Because it saw the salad dressing.”
- “What do you call a bunch of bananas in a bar? A bunch of guarantinis.”
- “Why did the cucumber get angry at the bar? Because it was getting pickled.”
- “Why did the coffee bean refuse to go to the bar? Because it didn’t want to get roaste.”
- “Why did the strawberry go to the bar? To get a daiquiri-licious drink.”
- “Why did the pineapple get thrown out of the bar? Because it was being too fresh.”
- “Why did the kiwi go to the bar? To make some citrusy friends.”
- “What do you get when you add a lime to a margarita? A lima-rita.”
- “Why did the lime want to go to the bar with the lemon? To make some sweet and sour memories!”
- “What do you call a tomato on vacation at the beach? Tom-atoe daiquiri.”
- “Why did the grape get in trouble at the bar? Because it was being too grape-py.”
Bar Puns Use in Movies
Bar puns aren’t just limited to real life – they’ve also made their way into movies and TV shows. Here are a few notable examples of bar puns in pop culture:
- In the movie “Crazy, Stupid, Love”, Ryan Gosling’s character tells a woman, “I’m not drinking, I’m just consuming alcohol to make you more interesting.”
- In “Friends”, Chandler once said, “I’m full and yet I know if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.”
- In “Cheers”, the classic sitcom set in a Boston bar, the characters were constantly trading witty quips. One example: “Sam: ‘What’ll you have, Norm?’ Norm: ‘Well, I’m in a gambling mood, Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.’ Sam: ‘Looks like beer, Norm.’ Norm: ‘Call me Mister Lucky.'”
- In “How I Met Your Mother”, Barney Stinson often orders a “scotch, neat” and adds, “Wait for it.” before taking a sip.
- In the movie “The Big Lebowski”, the character Walter Sobchak says, “Hey, nice marmot,” after seeing a stuffed animal in someone’s home. The line has become a popular catchphrase among fans of the film.
These are just a few examples of how bar puns have been use to add humor to movies and TV shows.
Key Takeaway
Whether you’re looking to impress your friends with your humor or just want to lighten the mood during your next night out, bar puns are a great way to do it. From quick one-liners to kid-friendly jokes, there’s a pun for every occasion. And even if you’re not a natural comedian, using these puns is an easy way to inject some laughter and lightheartedness into any conversation. So why not give them a try and see how much fun you can have? Just remember to always drink responsibly.
In conclusion, incorporating puns into your bar banter can be a great way to have some laughs and break the ice. Whether you prefer one-liners, longer jokes, or kid-friendly puns, there are countless options to choose from. So go ahead and sip on some humor – it might just make your next happy hour even happier.
