Are you looking for a fun and light-hearted read that involves your favorite alcoholic beverages? If yes, then you’re in the right place – welcome to our alcohol puns article! In this piece, we’re going to explore and share with you over 111 of the best alcohol puns, suitable for everyone from kids to adults.
Whether you’re in the mood for some witty one-liners, hilarious jokes, or clever wordplays, our article has got it all. Get ready to have a good laugh and maybe even impress your friends with your newfound knowledge of creative booze puns. So, grab a drink (or not), sit back, and let’s dive into the world of alcohol puns!
What are Alcohol Puns?
Before we get started with our list of the best alcohol puns, let’s first understand what alcohol puns are. In simple terms, alcohol puns are wordplays or jokes that involve references to alcoholic beverages such as beer, wine, whiskey, rum, and so on. They can be funny, witty, clever, and even corny, but they all have one thing in common – they involve some form of alcohol-related humor.
Now that we know what alcohol puns are let’s explore some of the best ones in the following categories:
Best Short Alcohol Puns
If you’re a fan of short and sweet puns, then this list is for you. Check out these top 25 alcohol puns that are sure to make you chuckle:
- Whiskey business
- Wine not?
- Hops to it!
- You had me at merlot
- Tequila mockingbird
- Pour decisions
- Vodka! I forgot!
- Beer-ly legal
- It’s wine o’clock somewhere
- Let the good times roll-ade
- Livin’ La Vida mojito
- I’ll drink to that!
- Drink up, witches!
- Cerveza, por favor
- A-toast to the host!
- Don’t wine, be happy
- Gin-gle bells
- Whiskey me away
- On cloud wine
- Just brew it
- Sip happens
- Bottoms up!
One-liner Alcohol Puns
If you’re looking for some witty one-liners that will make you sound clever and punny, then this list is for you. Check out these one-liner puns:
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.
- Beer is my spirit animal.
- I make pour decisions.
- Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 1862.
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
- I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a wine enthusiast!
- I always keep a stash of booze at home in case of emergencies like having a rough day, or a Tuesday.
- Whiskey helps me woo women like Wonder Woman.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right after a few glasses of wine.
- They should put more wine in a bottle so there’s enough for two people.
- I drink to make other people more interesting.
- I prefer my water frozen and my scotch on the rocks.
- I can’t decide if I need a hug, a shot of vodka, or 3 days of sleep.
- A drunk man’s words are often a sober man’s thoughts.
- I’m a wine enthusiast, the more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
- You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- A martini a day keeps the doctor away.
- I’m not sure if I need a hug or a glass of wine, maybe both?
- I drink to forget I’m not Batman.
- You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine, and that’s pretty close.
- I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.
- Drinking rum before noon is just a sign of being a pirate, not an alcoholic.
- I could give up drinking but I’m not a quitter.
Funny Puns for Alcohol
If you’re in the mood for some really funny alcohol puns, then this list is for you. Check out these top 25 funny alcohol puns that will leave you in stitches:
- I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer to do it with friends.
- I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by your presence.
- I have mixed drinks about feelings.
- I’m not drinking to forget my problems, I’m drinking to forget your face.
- I’m not saying alcohol solves all my problems, but it does make me forget them for a little while.
- Wine a little, laugh a lot.
- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Life is too short to drink bad wine.
- Whiskey makes me frisky.
- I don’t need a glass of wine, I need a bottle…
- I see no good reason to act my age, especially when I can be young at heart and drink beer.
- Why wine? Because adulting is hard.
- I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
- I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs, but I do trust people who like whiskey.
- I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendships after a night of drinking.
- Alcohol – because sometimes good decisions start with bad ideas.
- Wine not just have another glass?
- Whiskey and bad decisions – a match made in heaven.
- Alcohol: some of the best times you’ll never remember.
- I drink to make other people interesting.
- Drunk people, kids, and leggings… they don’t lie.
- I can’t adult today, I need a glass of wine.
- I have a diet, it’s called the “Pour Decisions” diet.
- It’s not drinking alone if the cat is home.
- I’m not slurring my words, I’m speaking in cursive.
Alcohol Puns for Kids
While alcohol puns are generally more suited for adults, you can still have some fun with the kids by sharing these harmless and kid-friendly alcohol puns. Check out these top puns for kids:
- What do you call a drunk who works at an upholstery shop? A recovering cushion addict.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! Seriously, kid-friendly alcohol puns only.
- How do you make a gingerbread man’s eyes sparkle? Put some gin-gle bells in them.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Booze. Booze who? Booze-ing these funny knock-knock jokes make me thirsty.
- What do you call a group of cows who like to drink? The Milk Bar Band.
- What do you call a can of soda mixed with vodka? A DIY fuzzy navel.
- What do you call a non-alcoholic champagne? Sham-pagne.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite drink? Aaarrgghh-and-Coke.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool.
- What do you call polite alcohol? Breezes and thank-yous.
- What’s the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
- Why did the tomato turn yellow? Because it saw the lemonade.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Colonel Sanders.
- Why don’t oysters give to charity? They’re shellfish.
- What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath.
- Why don’t seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls.
- What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? Chicken.
- Why did the tomato turn green? Because it wanted to be a pickle.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
- What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor’s office? Because it had a virus.
Alcohol Puns Used in Movies
Alcohol puns have even found their way into movies, often adding a comedic twist to the scenes. Here are some examples of alcohol puns used in movies:
- “I’m not drinking anymore… I’m not drinking any less either.” – Will Ferrell in The Other Guys
- “I don’t know what’s in this, but I don’t think it’s ginger ale.” – Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends
- “Shaken, not stirred.” – James Bond in several Bond films
- “There comes a time when a man needs to put his foot down…and drink heavily.” – John Belushi in Animal House
- “Here’s Johnny!” – Jack Nicholson in The Shining, after breaking through a door with an axe and finding a bar fully stocked with alcohol
- “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” – Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused, while holding a can of beer
- “As long as there’s, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without rock and roll.” – Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler, after downing a shot of whiskey
- “I’ve gotten more action in a week than you’ve gotten in your entire life. I’ve got houses in L.A., Paris and Vail. In each one, a 70 inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face and come on over here and pour me a drink. – Tom Cruise in Cocktail
Alcohol puns are a fun and creative way to add some humor to any situation involving alcohol. We hope that our list of 111+ alcohol puns has provided you with some laughs and maybe even inspired you to come up with some of your own. Whether you’re looking for short and sweet puns or funny jokes, there’s an alcohol pun out there for everyone. So, whether you choose to imbibe or not, remember to always drink responsibly and, most importantly, never stop laughing. Cheers!