Puns

105+ Hand Puns to Nail Your Comedy Routine

hand puns list
Written by Hilly Martin

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to break the ice with someone, but didn’t know what to say? Well, look no further than hand puns! Hand puns are a clever way to inject some humor into your conversations and create a memorable impression on those around you.

From high-fives to handshakes, our hands are an essential part of our daily interactions. So why not spice things up with a witty hand pun? Whether you’re trying to make someone laugh or simply lighten the mood, hand puns are a versatile tool that can be used in a variety of situations.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the art of hand puns and provide you with a collection of puns that are sure to leave your audience in stitches. So get ready to flex those funny bones and let’s dive into the world of hand puns!

For More: 5 Example of Puns with Examples [Guide]

hand puns list

Most Funny Hand Puns

  •  What are the best names for your right-hand watchdogs? Rolex or Timex.
  • What did the cop say to a hand? You are under a-wrist.
  • Did you hear about the hand that was caught stealing? It was given a slap on the wrist.
  • Did you hear about the hand that went to jail? It was put in cuffs.
  • What’s a hand’s favorite fruit? A banana!
  • What do you call a hand that’s been in the sun too long? A lobster!
  • Did you hear about the hand that got lost in the forest? It took a long time to find the hand’s way out!
  • Why don’t hands like going to school? Because they’re always getting a detention!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal!
  • How do you make a hand shake? You give it a fist bump!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite color? Blue, because it’s the color of the sky!
  • How do you make a hand feel better? You give it a tissue!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite drink? A smoothie!
  • What do you call a hand that’s been in the water too long? A clam!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite food? Pizza, because it has lots of toppings!
  • How can you make a hand happy? You give it a hug!
  • What do you call a hand that’s been working hard? A hard worker!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite sport? Soccer, because it’s a foot sport!
  • What do you call a hand that’s been punched? A boxing glove!
  • Why do the fingers refuse to agree with the thumbs? This is because the thumbs can be opposable.
  • Why is it that the hand always gets blamed for things? It’s because the hand is often caught with its fingers in the cookie jar!

Short Hand Puns

  • What’s a hand’s favorite game? Rock, paper, scissors!
  • What did the hand say to the other hand? I’ve been waiting for you all my life!
  • Why is dry beef’s handwriting very bad? Because it’s very jerky.
  • What’s a hand’s favorite movie genre? Horror, because it’s spine chilling!
  • What do you call a hand that has a cold? A sick hand!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite holiday? Halloween, because it’s when they can dress up as vampires and ghosts!
  • What do you call a hand that’s been caught stealing? A thief!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite computer game? Minesweeper, because it’s all about clicking on the right squares!
  • What do you call a hand that can’t stop moving? A hyper hand!
  • What do you call a hand that’s been in the sun too long? A sunburn!
  • Why did the hand cross the road? To get to the other side!
  • What do you call a hand that’s been in the water too long? A wet hand!
  • How can you make a hand feel better? You give it a hug!
  • Why can everyone clap with their hands except T-rex? Because they are extinct.
  • I don’t know why they call it a ‘hand’ grenade, it doesn’t have any hands on it.
  • I’m glad I know sign language, it’s really handy.
  • I bet you’re wondering why I have a hand in my pocket.
  • I don’t always use my hands, but when I do, I use them for the glory of God.
  • My hands are tired from waving at people all day.
  • I’m going to put my hands in the air like I just don’t care.
  • Can’t touch this!
  • Keep your hands to yourself!

Best Hand Puns One liners

  • Put your hand up if you want to come with me.
  • Hand-in-hand we will face the world.
  •  I think a palm tree is just a tree made out of hands.
  • The best way to stop a hand from shaking is to hold it.
  • I can’t believe I got a hand job from a one-armed woman.
  • My hands are so sweaty, I feel like I’m going to have to wash them again.
  • If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. If you want something done well, ask a busy woman to do it.
  • I’m not saying my hands are clean, but I can at least wash them.
  • Looks like somebody’s been hand-picked for a new job!
  • Don’t be a hand-me-down, be a hand-made!
  • It’s not my fault I have small hands, it’s just the way God made me.
  • I’m not saying my hands are perfect, but they’re definitely above average.
  • My hands may be small, but I’ve got a big heart.
  • I’m not a robot, I have feelings too! Sometimes my hands shake because I’m nervous.
  • I know I’m not the best at math, but even I can see that there are 5 fingers on each hand.
  • When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when it gives you a hand, make a lemon hand puppet.
  • I know I’m not the best at art, but even I can see that a hand is just a square with 4 lines.
  • My hands may be small, but I’ve got a big mouth.
  • It’s not my fault I have small hands, it’s just the way God made me.
  • I’m not saying my hands are perfect, but they’re definitely above average.
  • My hands are so cold, I feel like I’m going to have to warm them up.

Hand Puns Captions

  • I’m not saying my hands are clean, but at least I know where they’ve been.
  • Hand sanitizer is like a mini-vacuum for your hands.
  • I don’t have time to shake hands, I’m too busy wiping my ass.
  • My hands are so big, I feel like I’m going to have to use two of them.
  • I’m not saying my hands are clean, but at least they’re not dirty.
  • I don’t have time to shake hands, I’m too busy picking my nose.
  • It’s not easy being a hand model. You have to be careful not to get any hand cream on your clothes.
  • It’s not my fault I have small hands, it’s just the way God made me.
  • I’m not saying my hands are clean, but at least they’re not dirty.
  • My hands are so sweaty, I feel like I’m going to have to wash them again.
  • I’m going to put my hands in the air like I just don’t care.
  • What’s a hand’s favorite game? Rock, paper, scissors!
  • What did the hand say to the other hand? I’ve been waiting for you all my life!
  • Why is dry beef’s handwriting very bad? Because it’s very jerky.
  • Do you want to hear a hand joke? I don’t know, it’s not my type.
  • How do you catch a hand? You use a Hand-Net.
  • Why did the chicken go to the hand doctor? Because it had a peck injury!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite type of music? Jazz hands!
  • Why did the hand go to the hospital? It had a paper cut!

Hand Puns & Jokes Cringe

  • Why are hands so difficult to draw? Because they’re all in different positions!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite dessert? Ice cream hands!
  • Why did the hand go to jail? Because it stole a pie!
  • How a To get do you make a hand mad? You give it a paper cut!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite type of food? Sushi hands!
  • How do you make a hand laugh? You tickle it!
  • Why did the hand cross the road? To get to the other hand!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite TV show? Handy Manny!
  • Why did the hand go to rehab? It was addicted to texting!
  • How do you make a hand smile? With a hand puppet!
  • Why did the hand go to the Olympics? To compete in the javelin throw!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite number? 10! 3, 5 and 7 are also popular!
  • Why did the hand go to college? To get a higher education!
  • What do you call a hand that can’t add up? A dumb hand!
  • What do you call a hand that can’t subtract? A dumber hand!
  • What do you call a hand that can’t multiply? A dumbest hand!
  • What do you call a hand that can’t divide? A dumbest hand ever!
  • Why did the hand go to court? To get a restraining order against the chicken!
  • What’s a hand’s favorite color? Blue, green and purple are all popular choices!
  • Why did the hand go to the bank? To withdraw some cash!
  • What do you call a hand with no money? A bankrupt hand!

For More: 105 Funny Puns for Captions & Status

Conclusion

In conclusion, hand puns are a fun and creative way to add some humor to your daily conversations. Whether you’re using them to break the ice, make a joke, or just entertain yourself, hand puns are sure to put a smile on someone’s face. From finger puns to palm jokes, the possibilities are endless.

We want to take this opportunity to thank our readers for taking the time to read our blog post about hand puns. We hope that you found it informative and entertaining, and that you learned a few new hand puns to share with your friends and family. Your support and feedback are invaluable to us, and we appreciate your continued support.

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment below and let us know your favorite hand pun. We also encourage you to visit our website for more job description ideas and other informative articles. Thank you again for reading, and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

hand puns for instagram captions

About the author

Hilly Martin

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