117+ God Puns God-Inspired Jokes and Wordplay

God Puns
Written by Hilly Martin

Puns have been a part of human language since the dawn of communication, and they’re a great way to make language fun, lighthearted, and even educational. A pun is a word or phrase used in a humorous way that is based on the sound or multiple meanings of a word. In this article, we’ll explore puns that incorporate the divine theme of “god,” guaranteed to crack up even the most stoic of individuals.

Divine puns can be a great way to put a comedic spin on your everyday spiritual musings or to add some humor to religious discussions. These puns may range from the short and sweet to the cleverly crafted one-liners, perfect for kids and adults alike. But be warned, in some cases, these puns might result in facepalms or groans from those listening – they’re divine eye-rolling but worth the comic relief they bring.

What are God Puns?

A god pun is a type of pun with a religious or divine theme in which “god” plays a key role. These puns can range from simple and short quips to longer, more elaborate puns that require a bit of thinking to understand. God puns can touch on various biblical references, stories, and names of divine beings to create clever and humorous wordplay. Here are some of the best god puns for different styles of humor

Best Short God Puns

  • God must have a sense of humor; he created humans, after all.
  • I told my wife I was going to pray for her wrinkles. She told me to pray for my hairline first.
  • How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they prefer to stay in the dark.
  • Christians don’t tell jokes. They tell parables with punchlines.
  • I forgot to remember Noah’s ark, but then it came to me in a flood.
  • Jesus might have been able to walk on water, but he never had to wrestle with the chlorine levels.
  • My pastor says that while we can’t always understand God’s plan, we can trust in His character. I say, “Let’s just get one good look at the blueprint.”
  • Did you hear about that guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
  • Don’t argue with someone who knows the Bible better than you. They also know Batman is not in the Bible.
  • If God did not intend for man to eat animals, He would not have made them out of meat.
  • I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.
  • Did you hear about the church that started a weight loss group called “The Last Supper?” It’s open to anyone who wants to drop the cross fit.
  • Why is heaven a great place to work? Because they need no resumes, only references.
  • I would tell you a joke about the Ark, but it’s a bit hard to swallow.
  • The only thing that could keep me from titheing is the Ten Percent.
  • I’ve never really understood why the Bible is so heavy on salt, but not pepper too.
  • Why don’t angels like showers? They prefer heaven-scent.
  • Why couldn’t Jonah attend church? He was busy praying inside a fish.
  • If only God can judge us, then Santa’s out of the job.
  • I heard Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
  • If God is your co-pilot, then you are in the wrong seat.
  • It’s true God has a sense of humor; he gave us politicians and lawyers.
  • The Patron Saint of Poverty must be St. Nicholas before Christmas.
  • My girlfriend is like the Holy Spirit. I always feel her there, but like the wind, I never see her.
Best Short God Puns

Clever One-Liner God Puns

  • Why did the cross go to the gym? To get a holy-ripped physique.
  • If you don’t know how to pray, don’t worry. God knows what you’d like to say, but he appreciates good pronunciation.
  • Why do demons hang out in caves? They love being in the underworld.
  • I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like pizza. I mean, even Jesus ate bread.
  • Why did Golgotha become a famous neighborhood? Because it was the place where Jesus crossed.
  • The garage door’s badging with the letters “JC” echoes the mission of opening possibilities for those who believe in Jesus Christ.
  • Why do priests love hot air balloons? Because they’re always carrying the spirit.
  • I asked Jesus if he wanted to go see a movie. He said, “No, I already know how it ends.”
  • Why was the computer cold at night? He left his Windows open.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. What do you call a fake holy man? A whimsical pastor.
  • Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems. Sounds like some people’s interpretation of the book of Revelation.
  • God may have rested on the seventh day, but the devil never rests.
  • Why don’t you ever see angels asking questions? They already have all the answers.
  • What’s the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding? One less person to buy a drink for.
  • Why do we still tell stories about Samson? It’s because they’re biblically accurate and hair-raising.
  • Why did God create man before woman? Because you always need a rough draft before the masterpiece.
  • What do you call an iPhone without any apps? A Jesus Phone – you can call or text your prayers.
  • Why did the grape stop going to church? Because it started wining too much.

Funny Puns for God

  • In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then he created man and rested. Then he created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever rested.
  • If God wanted us to have Ham, He would have given us a frying pan.
  • I’ve been told I’m going to hell, but at least I’ll have good company.
  • Why did God create a world with mosquitoes? He just winged it.
  • The Bible says to love thy neighbor, but it never said you had to like them.
  • Why did God create pandas? For his daily dose of bear hugs.
  • How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
  • Why did Noah bring both men and animals on the ark? Because he wanted to have someone to talk to.
  • If God is love, then I’m a hopeless romantic.
  • The best way to stop sinning is to stop spinach.
  • What did God say when he made the first black man? “Damn, I burnt one.”
  • Pray for the spiders in your home. They’re going through a tough season, too.
  • Did you hear about the paranoid shepherd? He had a constant fear of eweno-people.
  • Why did God create turbulence on flights? To remind us to hang on to our faith.
  • God must be a woman; otherwise, I can’t imagine a man who would pay so much attention to detail and fail to mention it.

Catchy God Puns for Kids

  • Knock-knock. Who’s there? God. God who? God bless you, that’s who!
  • Why was Jonah in such a rush to get out of the whale’s stomach? It was starting to smell fishy.
  • Why did God create animals? To show us that we could be as kind as we are fierce.
  • What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve.
  • What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler.
  • Why was Jesus such a great person to have at a BBQ? He could turn water into wine!
  • Why did the Bible characters always feel cold? There was a drought, so they needed to find Hosea.
  • Why did God create days? So we could have opportunities to live our best lives.
  • What kind of fruit did Adam and Eve like? Forbidden fruit’s yogurt!
  • What’s black, white, and red all over? The Bible, it’s a classic.
  • Why should we love God? Because he loves us more than we can ever imagine.
  • Why did the angels have to sing songs all the time? Because they couldn’t carry a tune in a horsedrawn chariot.
  • Why was King David good at fixing things around the palace? He was a DIY-vid.
  • What did Noah say to the ark when it wouldn’t stop shaking? “I Noah guy who can help with that.”
  • Why did Mary and Joseph need to travel to Bethlehem? Because there was no room at the inn.
  • What did one angel say to the other when they were saving Lot? “Hey, we got him out just in the nick of time!”
  • What do you call the Bible in a hat? A cap-tivator.
  • Why did God create cats with nine lives? So they could be forgiven eight times before hitting the litter box.
  • What’s the difference between a Christian and a snowman? Christians have hope even after the winter has passed.
Clever One-Liner God Puns

Famous God Puns use in Movies

  • “Holy Supra” – The Fast and the Furious
  • “You shall not pass go, you shall not collect two hundred quarters” – The Lord of the Board: Monopoly Game
  • “It’s A Trap!” – Admiral Ackbar, Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi
  • “Pray that the Lord has mercy upon you… for I shall have none” – The Mummy
  • “The Lord giveth, The Lord taketh away – But not friggin confectionary!” – Epic Movie
  • “What in the name of the Lord?” – Young Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
  • “Runs through walls, has x-ray vision. Can’t figure out on doors.” – Hitman
  • “I don’t know who he is, but I’m sure God does!” – Apocalypse Now
  • “Oh my God, I’m in the back of a cop car” – The Wackness
  • “The power of Christ compels you!” – The Exorcist
  • “God is in the rain” – V for Vendetta
  • “Oh, dear God! Not again!” – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
  • “Lord, protect us” – Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
  • “Amazing grace, come sit on my face” – The Proposal
  • “If what I think is happening is happening, it better not be” – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  • “God in heaven help us all” – The Dark Knight
  • “Oh God, if there is a God, please save my soul, if I have a soul” – Repo Men
  • “Dear Lord, please don’t let me fuck up” – The Boondock Saints
  • “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Two for money. One for show” – Lucky Number Slevin
  • “Hey, I’m human, and God. The best of both worlds” – Bruce Almighty

Key Takeaway

God puns can be hilarious and entertaining, often bringing out the lighthearted nature of religion while still maintaining a sense of respect for faith. From short quips to one-liners, there are many different types of God puns to choose from. Whether you’re searching for a laugh or looking to spice up a religious conversation, these puns are sure to do the trick. Just remember to tread lightly, as not everyone may share your sense of humor.

About the author

Hilly Martin