119+ Divorce Puns That’ll Lighten Your Mood

Divorce Puns
Written by Hilly Martin

Divorce is a sensitive topic that requires empathy and professionalism when approached. However, humor can break the tension and make the process more bearable. Divorce puns have become trendy among individuals going through separation, divorce lawyers, and court officials.

These puns bring some light moments, help to ease anxiety, and promote positivity. In this article, we will explore the world of divorce puns, including their different categories, their usage, and their relevance.

What are Divorce Puns?

Divorce puns are wordplay that links the topic of divorce or marriage settlement with humorous or witty expressions. They can be used in different situations, such as a statement, anecdote, or joke. Divorce puns are often used in social media, courtrooms, and daily conversations to lighten the mood or convey a message. They can be poignant, ironic, or sarcastic, depending on the intent and context.

Here are some categories of divorce puns and examples of each:

Best Short Divorce Puns

  • Divorce is my decision, not his voice immodulation.
  • I’m not getting divorced; I’m upgrading to freedom.
  • Marriage is just a milestone; divorce is a millstone.
  • Divorce is expensive, worth happiness expensive.
  • Marriage is like a swimming pool, and divorce is like a lifeguard saving you.
  • Divorce is a piece of cake, no wedding cake.
  • Game over, marriage over.
  • I’m seeking separation; let’s call it “Elf on the shelf.”
  • Divorce is like a boxing match; you may get beaten up, but you’ll come out stronger.
  • A broken marriage is like a broken mirror, better to see the flaws than keep pretending you’re okay.
  • A divorce is just a plate; but life is a buffet.
  • Divorce is like a game of chess; you have to move your pieces wisely to win.
  • The best way to keep your sanity in divorce is to keep your humor.
  • I’m getting divorced, so I’ll be keeping the house extension cord.
  • A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Divorce means falling in love with yourself one more time.
  • A divorce is like leaking gas. If you stay, you’re dead. If you leave, you start anew.
  • Marriage is a partnership, and divorce is a business split.
  • Divorce is a long-term investment in social security.
  • Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
  • Divorce can feel like an earthquake, but it’s not the end.
  • Life without divorce is like a pencil without lead.
  • In a marriage, both should work like a team. In divorce, both should work like sportsmen.
  • When doors close in a divorce, windows open.
  • I may have lost in love, but I’m winning in divorce.
Best One-liner Divorce Puns

Best One-liner Divorce Puns

  • Getting through a divorce is like swimming through peanut butter.
  • Marriage is a scream, choosing always involves taking a haircut.
  • Divorce is like finding out your favorite ice cream is no longer available.
  • Divorce is a report card; we all got Cs.
  • Divorce is like popping a pimple: ugly but satisfying.
  • He asked her to marry him on bended knee, now she’s divorcing him with a straight back.
  • Divorce is a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, the pill is hard for too long.
  • It takes two to get married and only one to get divorced.
  • Divorce is the mother of reinvention.
  • When it comes to divorce, I’m a do-it-yourselfer – I do my own losing.
  • If a marriage is a joke, then divorce is the punchline.
  • You have to be married to get a divorce, and you have to be divorced to remarry.
  • Divorce is like a bad tattoo; It may take a lot of work to remove the ink, but the pain will eventually subside.
  • Divorce is expensive, so choose your fates wisely.
  • Divorce is like getting off a roller coaster, either you scream or throw your hands up in the air.
  • Marriage is a battlefield, and divorce is the endgame.
  • Divorce is like hitting a reset button in a video game; it’s not over until you win.
  • The beginning of the end of a marriage marks the start of a new beginning.
  • Marriage is a promise, and divorce is a realization.
  • Divorce is the ultimate fatality in a relationship, but the game continues.
  • Love is forever, marriage is short-term, and divorce is all about paperwork.
  • Marriage isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon where divorce is the finish line.
  • Marriage is like a bike ride; some routes are smooth while others lead to a crash and burn divorce.
  • Divorce is a wake-up call that your match with your ex was a mismatch.
  • Getting divorced is like crossing a river; It’s never easy, and sometimes you wonder if you will make it.

Funny Puns for Divorce

  • “Marriage is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.”
  • “Divorce; it’s when you can split a pizza or piece of cake in half and have a war over who gets the smaller slice.”
  • “I’m not getting a divorce; my spouse and I are just going out of business.”
  • “Divorce is the opposite of glue. It’s the force that splits everything apart.”
  • “Divorce is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.”
  • “Divorce negotiations are like a game of poker, sometimes you gotta fold and sometimes you bluff.”
  • “Divorce is like a bad cold; It starts with a lot of emotional aches, continues with a severe split, and ends in a few tissues.”
  • “Divorce is like a chicken with broken wings; It’s pointless.”
  • “After my divorce, I learned to do some serious math- I started adding wine glasses per night.”
  • “Divorce is like lasagna. You have layers of agreement and disagreements.”
  • “Divorce is like hitting a parking meter. It’s never a happy ending.”
  • “Divorce is like a bad stock: you hope for the best, but it always ends up in a loss.”
  • “Divorce is like a chest of drawers, it’s the one that’s drawers and drawers of your treasures, but it’s hard to let go of.”
  • “Divorce is like the moon- it starts full and shiny, but then it withers and sets.”
  • “Divorce is like a sitcom; after a few seasons, it’s time to call it quits.”
  • “Getting divorced is like becoming a butterfly. You start out with a caterpillar spouse, and end up flying single.”
  • “Divorce is like sorting laundry- you can’t match everything up and still expect them to fit together in harmony.”
  • “Divorce is a bit like solving a Rubik’s Cube – sometimes you have to make a wrong turn first.”
  • “Divorce is an expensive car crash that you can’t avoid.”
  • “Divorce is like a trip to the dentist. You know it’s going to be painful, but you still have to do it.”
  • “Divorce is like going to the gym; It’s tough, but you feel better in the end.”
  • “Divorce is like a marathon where everybody gets a medal.”
  • “Divorce is like falling off a cliff – sometimes you have to grab onto that branch before you start falling.”
  • “Divorce is like finishing a book, sometimes you are glad it’s over, and sometimes you wish it never ended.”
  • “Divorce is like a box of chocolates- even if you don’t like it, you still have to taste it.”

Catchy Divorce Puns for Kids

  • “Divorce is when mommy and daddy decide to live in different houses.”
  • “When mommy and daddy get divorced, it’s like they stop being married.”
  • “Divorce is when two people who used to love each other decide they can’t make each other happy anymore.”
  • “Just because mommy and daddy are getting divorced doesn’t mean they love you any less.”
  • “After mommy and daddy get a divorce, you still have two homes instead of one.”
  • “Divorce is like a puzzle; sometimes, pieces just don’t fit together anymore.”
  • “Even though mommy and daddy are getting divorced, they will both still love you and be there for you.”
  • “When mommy and daddy get divorced, it’s like they’re both going on separate adventures.”
  • “Divorce is like a laptop; it’s better to have two than to share one that doesn’t work well.”
  • “Sometimes, grownups need to take a break from each other, so they can be happier apart.”
  • “Divorce is like a cake; it may be cut into separate pieces, but it’s still the same cake.”
  • “It’s okay to feel sad or upset about mommy and daddy getting a divorce, it’s a big change.”
  • “Divorce is like a river; it may split into two, but it still flows.”
  • “When mommy and daddy get divorced, it’s like they’re both writing different stories.”
  • “Divorce is like a balloon; sometimes, it pops, but it can still be fixed.”
  • “It’s normal to have questions or concerns about mommy and daddy getting a divorce, and it’s okay to ask them.”
  • “Divorce is like a tree; sometimes, branches break off, but it still grows.”
  • “Even though mommy and daddy are getting divorced, you still have a family that loves and supports you.”
  • “Divorce is like a painting; sometimes, it gets messy, but it can still be beautiful.”
Funny Puns for Divorce

Best Divorce Puns in Movies

  • “It’s not the number of times you get knocked down that counts; it’s the number of times you get up and say no to the alimony.” – The First Wives Club (1996)
  • “Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true, because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce.” – The Squid and the Whale (2005)
  • “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” – The Women (2008)
  • “Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.” – Knocked Up (2007)
  • “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” – The War of the Roses (1989)
  • “They say marriages are made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning.” – The Awful Truth (1937)
  • “Divorce is a game played out by lawyers.” – The First Wives Club (1996)
  • “After twelve years of marriage, how could anyone else compare to what I have with you?” – The Break-Up (2006)
  • “Love doesn’t sit there like a stone. It has to be made like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
  • “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” – The War of the Roses (1989)

Key Takeaways

Divorce puns can be used in various ways, including social media, daily conversations, and movies. They come in different categories, such as short puns, one-liner puns, and kid-friendly puns. Divorce puns serve as a lighthearted way to approach a sensitive topic and bring some relief to those going through a breakup. Nonetheless, it is vital to remember that divorce is a serious issue that requires care and empathy.

While these puns offer a temporary sense of humor, they should not take away from the seriousness of the situation. Divorce can be challenging for everyone involved, especially children. As much as they can provide a momentary laugh, it is important to approach situations regarding divorce with sensitivity and understanding , and to recognize that each individual’s experience through divorce is unique.

About the author

Hilly Martin