If you have a dirty mind and a love for wordplay, then you are in the right place. Naughty puns are a cheeky fusion of language and innuendo that can be both cringe-worthy and hilarious at the same time.
These clever bits of humor often rely on double entendres, mispronunciations, and perfectly-timed word placement to achieve their comedic effect. But be warned, these types of puns are not for everyone and may cause offense to some. In this guide, we will explore the world of naughty puns and provide you with a collection of the best ones to bring a smile to your face.
What are Naughty Puns?
Naughty puns are puns that are saucy, sly, or suggestive. They are often puns that riff off of , body parts, or profanity. The humor of these types of puns lines in the way they play with language and interpretation.
They can take innocent words and twist them into something more risqué or play off of the different meanings of a word. Naughty puns can be found in all types of media from television shows and movies to advertising and greeting cards.
Best Short Naughty Puns
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
- I don’t trust people with graph paper. They’re always plotting something.
- Did you hear about that kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I get through by nose.
- Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
- I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring my camera.
- I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He’s alright now.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
One-liner Naughty Puns
- Eating clocks is time-consuming.
- Did you hear about corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my nose.
- I used to work in a blanket factory. It was sew cool.
- The difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a unicycle is attire.
- Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- The graveyard looks overcrowded, people must be dying to get there.
- My friend keeps saying “cheer up man,
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring my camera.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Do you know why beer goes through your system so fast? Because it hops right through.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
- Do you know how much a hipster weighs? An Instagram.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Funny Puns for Naughty Puns
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t thieves take jokes? Because they are stolen.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
- What type of shoes does a bear wear? None, it goes bear-foot.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why don’t ghosts go out in the rain? They get sheet-faced.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the tomato turn down the offer to run for office? Because it was already in a ketchup.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Naughty Puns for Kids
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
- What type of shoes does a bear wear? None, it goes bear-foot.
- Why don’t ghosts go out in the rain? They get sheet-faced.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- Why don’t zombies eat brains of vegetarians? Because they don’t like vegetables… they prefer grains.
- Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open.
- What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
- Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he kept getting lost at C.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
- Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an ion the mouse.
Naughty Puns Used in Movies
- “That’s what she said” – used in the movie “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”
- “I’ll be your huckleberry” – used in the movie “Tombstone”
- “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse” – used in the movie “The Godfather”
- “You can be my wingman any time” – used in the movie “Top Gun”
- “Are you feeling lucky, punk?” – used in the movie “Dirty Harry”
- “I feel the need… the need for speed” – used in the movie “Top Gun”
- “Why so serious?” – used in the movie “The Dark Knight”
- “I’m your huckleberry” – used in the movie “Tombstone”
- “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” – used in the “Star Wars” movies
- “I’ll have what she’s having” – used in the movie “When Harry Met Sally”
- “You can’t handle the truth!” – used in the movie “A Few Good Men”
- “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” – used in the movie “Dirty Dancing”
- “Do you want to play a game?” – used in the movie “WarGames”
- “It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage” – used in the movie “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark”
- “I see dead people” – used in the movie “The Sixth Sense”
- “I’m king of the world!” – used in the movie “Titanic”
- “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get” – used in the movie “Forrest Gump”
- “Yo, Adrian!” – used in the movie “Rocky”
- “Here’s Johnny!” – used in the movie “The Shining”
- “You had me at hello” – used in the movie “Jerry Maguire”
- “I’m a cop, you idiot!” – used in the movie “Kindergarten Cop”
- “I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is” – used in the movie “Forrest Gump”
- “Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!” – used in the movie “Ghostbusters”
- “Houston, we have a problem” – used in the movie “Apollo 13”
Key Takeaway
Puns are a popular comedic device used in movies to add humor and create memorable moments. Naughty puns are a specific type of pun that contain sexual innuendos or play on words that have double meanings. These types of puns are often used by characters to flirt or to add a layer of humor to a scene. However, it is important to note that while these types of puns can be funny, they can also be inappropriate or offensive if not used in the right context or with the right audience. It is important to use discretion and understand the impact of words before using them in any situation.
