Puns are a timeless form of wordplay. They are clever, funny, and cleverly placed in the right context. But what’s better than a pun? A double pun, of course! Double puns are the ultimate play on words.
They are witty sentences or phrases that contain two words or phrases that sound the same but have different meanings. That’s why we’ve put together a list of double puns for you to enjoy and share with your friends and family members.
What is a Double Pun?
A double pun is a type of pun that involves two wordplay techniques, typically involving homophones. Homophones are two or more words that sound the same but have different meanings.
Double puns use these homophones to create a play on words that are often amusing and clever. For example, “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!” in this pun, the word “put down” can be interpreted both as “set aside” and “euthanize.”
Best Short Double Puns
- I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
- You know what really bugs me? Insect puns. They just make me antsy.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I told my wife she was getting her instructions mixed up between cooking and the laundry. She asked me to pass her the salt instead of the fabric softener.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I want to be cremated when I die–just to spice things up.
- To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet, you can hide, but you can’t run.
- There was a kidnapping at the park today. A group of geese took a gander.
- Why is the math book sad? Because it has too many problems.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- I went to see the doctor because I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels.
- I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. And then it hit me.
- I’m on a whiskey diet, I’ve lost three days already.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I’m glad I know sign language. It’s pretty handy.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- I have a photographic memory; I just need to get it developed.
One-liner Double Puns
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- I told my wife she was getting her instructions mixed up between cooking and the laundry. She asked me to pass her the salt instead of the fabric softener.
- I went to see the doctor because I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels.
- I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
- I’m on a whiskey diet, I’ve lost three days already.
- I’m glad I know sign language. It’s pretty handy.
- I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- A criminal’s best asset is his liability.
- I’m reading a book on the history of the Trojan War. It’s epic.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- I’m starting a new diet where I eat food that tastes good to me. It’s called the “I eat what I want and feel good about it” diet.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.
- I’m reading a book on the history of clocks. It’s about time.
Good Funny Puns for Double
- I’m writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t read it.
- Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
- I told my wife she was getting her instructions mixed up between cooking and washing clothes. She asked me to pass her the salt instead of the fabric softener.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- I used to play piano by ear. But now, I use my hands.
- I tried to make a belt made entirely out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
- I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament. But it’s really hard to find good players.
- I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
- I’m starting a new diet where I eat food that tastes good to me. It’s called the “I eat what I want and feel good about it” diet.
- I’m reading a book about reality. It’s mind-blowing.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
- I refused to believe Dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
- The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize.
- I’m reading a book about submarines. It’s under-rated.
- I’m starting a business selling yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- Why don’t scientists trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
Catchy Double Puns For Kids
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- What goes up when rain comes down? An umbrella.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy!
- What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slipper!
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crumbly!
- What do you get when you mix a snowman with a shark? Frostbite.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms ? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t get a date.
- What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin’ Catholic.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open.
- Why did the orange go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t get a date.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator.
- Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies to fight off germs.
- Why did the grape go out with the raisin? Because it couldn’t get a date.
Conclusion
Puns can be a lot of fun and can add a bit of humor to our day. These collections of puns contained in this article are sure to tickle your funny bone, whether you’re a kid or an adult. From word plays to jokes about everyday objects and concepts, from one-liners to longer puns, there’s something here for everyone. So next time you need a good laugh, try out one of these puns and share it with your friends or family.
In addition to providing entertainment, puns can be useful in developing a sense of linguistic creativity and expanding vocabulary. Puns can also be a way to break the ice, lighten the mood or relieve stress in social situations. They can also be great conversation starters and provide a common ground for people with different backgrounds to connect. So go ahead, use these puns to spark some laughter and build connections with others. Remember, laughter is the best medicine!
