101+ Creative Cow Puns You Need to Herd Right Now

Looking for a way to make your Instagram posts and Facebook statuses more interesting? Why not try using some cow puns? They’re sure to get a few laughs, and you might even start a trend! Who doesn’t love a good cow pun? They’re cheesy, but sure to get a laugh. Whether you’re looking for a funny caption for your latest Instagram post or just need a good chuckle,

So go ahead and “moo” yourself silly. Just be careful not to “udder” any milk… 😉

If you’re looking for a fun way to add some personality to your Facebook statuses and Instagram captions, look no further than cow puns! They may sound cheesy, but they’re sure to get a chuckle from your friends. Here are 101 of our favorite cow puns to get you started. So, Enjoy!

For More: 5 Example of Puns with Examples [Guide]

Table of Contents

Creative Cow Puns

“Here comes my cow now. Yeah, it’s my cow.”
“How dair-y steal my milk!”

“I was looking at my herd of cows. I suddenly realized that I had a ton of cows.”
“My favorite part about selfies is how many cows I’m going to get after posting one right before bedtime.”
“Having too much milk? You may have a case of milkitis.”

“You wanna know why I haven’t responded to your text all day? It’s because I’m milking my phone for the cow-mendous amount of time it’s been since you’ve sent one.”
“Blizzard conditions in my house. Need to go out and get more cows!”
“Sorry I haven’t called. I was milking cows.”

“Cow tipping? That’s a new twist on an old classic.”
“I heard the farmer died from a kick to the cow puncher.”
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

Don’t milk your friends for compliments; they’ll end up sour & turn against you. (See what I did there?)
Last cow in space was a moo-naut.
I’m not the butcher, but I could tell you some beef about these jokes.

If cows didn’t exist, who would let the bull run free with the herd?
Humans are the only cows that drink milk from another animal.

Short Cow Puns

I heard a rumor that humans were made with beef and buns. I don’t know if it’s true, but they sure taste good together!

If the cow jumped over the moon, what color would it be?
I heard you went to a slaughterhouse and told knock-knock jokes.
Why did I drop out of dairy school? They said I didn’t have the udders for the job.

What do you call a cow that can’t give milk? A dope. (Come on! I’m not milking this!)
I used to think I was a karate cow, but turns out I’m a black belt in moo-tae boke.
The only thing a vegetarian can make is tofu burgers. Oh wait…

A calf told her mom she wanted to be an actress when she grew up. Her mother said, “No daughter of mine is going to be a moo-nute.”
Last night I dreamt of falling off the side of a building. I woke up at the bottom with some liver and finally realized it was just a beef.
Why were the two bulls ignoring each other? They had a lot of beef.

I’m lactose intolerant. I just ate some cheese, now I have to go moo-ve my bowels.
Why did the cow fall in the mud? It was mired in it.
What do cows say at their funerals? “Moo-don’t worry; we’re all grass-fed here.”

A beef, cheese, and a herd of sheep walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”
The best way to start your day is with cow yoga.
I got kicked out of the zoo for calling an elephant calf an insufferable little pachyderm.

What do you call mice that are aggressive towards people? Bullies! (Get it?)

Cow Puns One liners

Where was the first cow at 1st and Main? On a steak.
Why does milk taste good with cookies? Because milk is sweet!

I was invited to a fancy dress party as a dairy product, but I didn’t have a cow costume.
What do you call a cow with no nose? No idea, it can’t moo.
I was eating an orange when I suddenly realized…it wasn’t a Mango! (Gotta love the mango jokes)

In my house, I have a room for my dog and one for our milk cow. I call the milk cow’s room “the Moo Room.”
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.
I might be lactose intolerant, but at least I don’t suffer from casein-pathy.

I was having some cereal for breakfast when milk ran out. So I decided to have eggs instead; it’s not like I’ve got lactose munchies or anything!
Got a girl in the family? Avoid these kinds of jokes at all costs. They might go dry…
What’s the difference between a pick-up truck and a herd of cows? I don’t have to take the truck to get milk.

Two cows are standing in front of a barn. One says, “Hey girl are you looking for some action?” The other looks at her funny and says, “Eww, no! I’m a dude!”
I was looking for my cow-orkers so we could go milk some cows together. But they were all off milking the wrong trees.
Why did the pig tell his friend to have a cow when she had diarrhea? Because He didn’t want her to go piglet.

Why do cows have udders? To milk their hamstrings.
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead cow in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Cow Puns Captions

I’m lactose intolerant, so I’m like an inverse vampire: daylight turns me into a pile of ashes.

What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.
If milk does a body good, then why is there blood in my ice cream? Have you ever tried Swiss chocolate milk?
I know a thing or two about cows. A lot of people don’t realize it’s MOO with an “o” and not MOU with an “u”.

If you try to milk a mouse, the best you’ll get is some cheese squirts.
What do you call a cow that’s always in a bad mood? Sour milk.
Why was the cow afraid of the bull? Because he got mad when he got kicked out of the herd.

I did some taxidermy work on my pet cow, but I ran into problems trying to mount it. It just wouldn’t stick!
Nobody likes getting up early in the morning. Except me, of course – So, I love getting up at 5 am to milk some cows!
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!

What do you call a cow that eats grass and licks a salt block? A dairy queen.
I’m lactose intolerant so I can’t drink milk. So, I’m also allergic to soy so I can’t drink soy milk. This leaves me in a pickle!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he couldn’t find a chicken to do it for him.

What does a pregnant goldfish say? “Pop eye, pop eye!”
I thought about becoming a dairy farmer, but I couldn’t figure out how to get the cows to pay me.
What has four legs and flies? So, A happy cow! (Imagine that!)

Funny Cow Puns

Why is it bad luck for a milk truck to crash into a car full of lawyers? Because it’s really f*cked up.
Cow after reading these puns: “These jokes are butter than I’m used to.”
What happened when the cow ate grass? So, It got a moo-t beef.

If you leave milk out in the sun for too long, So, it’ll turn into cheese.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he saw a chicken up ahead.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now–ah!

What does a cow say when she’s on holiday? Moo-la-la.
Why did the cow stare at the orange juice? Because it wanted to start a citrus farm!
I know a thing or two about cows… *Eye twitches nervously* Shut up, brain.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a computer? Milk and cookies.
Did you hear about the cow that was arrested while jaywalking? It’s a bull!
What do you call a cow with no legs? So, Ground beef.

I just got out of jail for bovine mugging. So, Don’t ask how it happened, I really don’t know.
We were milking cows in class today and I got kicked in the head. It was unfortunate.
I knew I shouldn’t have hired that farm hand from Craigslist…

Even a cow creates ambiguous signifiers. So, The moo of mystery.
My teacher asked why I was late to school. I said, “I’m a simple cow.” Everyone laughed! That’s the last time I use one of these puns…
What do you call cows that fly? Air steak!

I was so hungry, I ate a cow from McDonalds. They were all out of burgers.

For More: 105 Funny Puns for Captions & Status

Cow Puns & Jokes Cringe

I have no time for jokes, because I’m always milking the cows to feed my family.

Why did the cow leave its herd? It wanted to get away from other cows.
What do you call a cow that’s about to give birth? A heavy cow.
We’ve been milking the cow for 5 years and we still haven’t gotten any milk.

My brother and I like to joke around and say “I herd you like cows!” It’s our favorite pun.
What’s a cow’s best subject in school? Cow-culus.
What do you call a cow who can’t give milk anymore? A dry cow.

What did the cow confess to his therapist? “So, I feel seen but not herd.”
What do you call a cow that eats something it’s not supposed to? A ruminate.
My brother and I like to say, “I like big butts and I cannot lie.” We’re talking about cows, of course.

A man went into the drug store and asked “Can you give me something for my cow?” The druggist said, “Let’s have a look at your cow. Where is it?”
What do you get when you milk a cow the wrong way? A dry cow.
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.

If two’s company, three’s a crowd, and four’s a cow!
A farmer was testing his new IQ. He found that he could spell “world” backwards, so he decided to take the test again. This time it took him longer.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the cow that it could be done.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, writing about cow puns has been udderly delightful! It’s always fun to have a good laugh and puns are a great way to lighten the mood. We hope that you found our puns both funny and enjoyable to read.

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