109+ Hilarious Bad Puns That Makes You Go Crazy

Have you ever encountered a bad pun and just can’t help but to cringe? Well, today’s your lucky day. We’ve compiled 109 of the funniest, most groan-worthy puns that will have you laughing (or cringing) all day long. So go ahead and dive in – just be prepared for some serious hilarity! There is no denying that bad puns are hilarious. But sometimes they can be a little too much, making you go crazy in the process

I never really understood the appeal of puns until I started writing this post. Now, I can’t get enough of them! If you’re in a bad mood, Laugh at their absurdity and enjoy the mental break they provide. And if you know someone who loves bad puns, share this post with them – they’ll be sure to appreciate it!

For More: 5 Example of Puns with Examples [Guide]

Table of Contents

Bad Puns that makes you go Crazy

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense!
What did the hamburger name it’s baby? Patty!!
How do you get down off an elephant? You don’t, you get down off a duck!

What did the grape say when his girlfriend dumped him? Wine… there’s more where she came from!
What type of whale can fly? A-blowfish!
Why are men like parking lots? The good ones are always taken and the free ones are handicapped.

What kind of bees give milk? Boobies!!
There was this horse and he lived in a bar… Get it?! It’s like “horse” bar.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
Two muffins are baking in an oven… one turns to the other and says “gee, it’s hot in here”. The other replies…oh… is that why they call you a hot-cross bun?
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me!
My grandfather worked in a factory that made artificial limbs. It was a legless/armless factory!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

There was a ghost named Bo who used to live in a hollow tree… Get it? A bo-hollow tree.

Short Bad Puns

What did the ghost say to the other ghost? Stop copying me!
Why couldn’t Jesus play hockey? He was a Jew!

What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee!
If a man speaks in the forest, but no woman hears him… is he still wrong?
I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done!

I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

What do you call a dinosaur that’s not extinct? A dino-sore!
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese.
I tried to catch some fog earlier, mist.

Bad Puns One liners

I just bought a new board game. It’s called Life.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, “You can come in, but don’t start anything!”
Two peanuts walk into a bar… one was assaulted!

A skeleton walks into a bar, goes up to two guys sitting next to each other, and says “got room for one more?”
Two raisins are walking down the street and they spot two grapes. The grapes say “AWW MAN! A TWIN!”
Two muffins are baking in an oven… one turns to the other and says “gee, it’s hot in here”. The other replies…oh… is that why they call you a hot-cross bun?

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
There was this horse and he lived in a bar… Get it?! It’s like “horse” bar.
A man walked into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
There was this horse and he lived in a bar… Get it?! It’s like “horse” bar.

I tried to catch some fog earlier, mist.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind. A maybe.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

What did the ghost say to the other ghost? Stop copying me!

Bad Puns Captions

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done!
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

There was this horse and he lived in a bar… Get it?! It’s like “horse” bar.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Two muffins are baking in an oven… one turns to the other and says “gee, it’s hot in here”. The other replies…oh… is that why they call you a hot-cross bun?

What did the ghost say to the other ghost? Stop copying me!
Why couldn’t Jesus play hockey? He was a Jew!
Every soccer player’s favorite beverage? Penal-tea.!

What did the grape say to the grape juice? Wanna seep! (sink)
There was a girl who lived in a banana. She had plenty peelings.
A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bartender here?”

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If you were a boomerang, would you want to be wide or flat? (Curvy)
I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.

A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bartender here?”

Funny Bad Puns

What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
An art critic is a person who doesn’t like art.

What was the most creative answer on the math test? The teacher!
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

My house plants are all dead… every last one of them.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth – Hurt
There was a girl who said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

My boss told me my eyes were bloodshot, I said “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth – Hurt
What do you call a dog that knows karate? A ro-pup

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.

Bad Puns & Jokes Cringe

The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings… but it’s still on my list.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

“When William joined the army he disliked it intensely.” You can say that again!
What do you call a dog who keeps bad company? A hound-dog.
Why don’t you like basketball players? They all dribble.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down!
What type of bees make milk? Boobies.
My sister asked me to pick her up at the airport, but I left her there in baggage claim.

The earthquake in Washington obviously had no effect on them.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
What did the buffalo say to his other head? What are you looking at, Wound-head?

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
There was an echidna who really longed to be a psychic… he had such a strong premonition.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game!

I phoned the psychic hotline and was told I’m on hold.

For More: 105 Funny Puns for Captions & Status

Conclusion:

We hope you’ve enjoyed our list of hilarious bad puns. If you haven’t had enough, be sure so check out our other posts for more laughs. .The puns in this list are groan-worthy, I know. But sometimes you just can’t help yourself. You see a word that could be used in a pun and you just have to go for it.

And if you’re anything like me, you probably enjoy a good pun as much as the next person (or maybe even more). So share this post with your friends, family and co-workers and let them suffer through 103 of the worst puns ever made. And don’t forget to leave your favorite bad pun in the comments below!